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You Might Be A Yankee If

Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://www.flickr.com/photos/sterlingcollege/19126214671/

I guess pretty much everyone has heard of the “You Might Be A Redneck If” jokes, created by Jeff Foxworthy, but have you thought that there are probably just as many “You Might Be A Yankee If” jokes.

Sure, why shouldn’t there be Yankee jokes as well as Redneck jokes!

If you come from the North, how many of these can you identify with?

  1. You’ve never had an RC cola.
  2. You have no idea what a polecat is.
  3. You think Heinz ketchup is really spicy. And the further south you go, the spicier the food, Cajun being the best of course.
  4. You want your son to grow up to be a lawyer instead of having his own fishing show. Down South fishing is life!
  5. You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork. It’s just not the same if you don’t pick it up.
  6. You don’t know what a moon pie is.
  7. You have no problems pronouncing “Worcestershire sauce”.
  8. You think barbecue is a verb meaning “to cook outside”.
  9. You’ve never eaten okra, fried or boiled.
  10. For breakfast, you prefer potatoes au gratin to grits. Hands up who likes grits? Grits are awesome.
  11. You’ve never planned a vacation around a gun and knife show.
  12. You don’t know anyone with at least two first names, i.e., Joe Bob, Faye Ellen, Billy Ray, Bunna Dean, Bubba Joe, or Mary Alice.
  13. You can do your laundry without quarters.
  14. You don’t have any hats that advertise feed stores. Have you noticed everyone down South wears a baseball hat and they do all advertise stores.
  15. You don’t have a single can of WD-40 anywhere in the house.
  16. You think more money should go to important scientific research at the university than to pay the salary of the football coaches.
  17. You’ve never been to a craft show.
  18. None of your fur coats are homemade.
  19. You don’t think Ted Kennedy has an accent.
  20. You prefer vacationing at Martha’s Vineyard instead of Six Flags.

So, how many did you identify with? We would love you to leave us a comment to let us know.


Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://www.flickr.com/photos/sterlingcollege/19126214671/

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