The Laughline
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You Know You Are In A Country Church When

You know you are in a country church in the South when:

  • People wonder, when Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish.
  • People grumble about Noah letting coyotes on the ark.
  • The preacher says, “I’d like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering”, and five guys stand up.
  • Opening day of hunting season is recognized as an official church holiday.
  • A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because: “It ain’t never been in a hole it couldn’t get out of!”
  • Prayers regarding the weather are standard practice.
  • The choir group is known as the “O.K. Chorale.”
  • The pastor wears boots.
  • Four generations of the same family sit together in worship.
  • There is no such thing as a “secret” sin.
  • Baptism is referred to as “branding.”
  • There’s a special fundraiser for a new septic tank.
  • Finding and returning lost sheep isn’t just a parable.
  • High notes on the organ can set the dogs to howling.
  • The final words of the benediction are, “Ya’ll come back now, ya hear.”

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