You know you are in a country church in the South of the USA when:
- People wonder, when Jesus fed the five thousand, whether the two fish were bass or catfish.
- People grumble about Noah letting coyotes on the ark.
- The preacher says, “I’d like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering” and five guys stand up.
- Opening day of hunting season is recognized as an official church holiday.
- A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because: “It ain’t never been in a hole it couldn’t get out of!”
- Prayers regarding the weather are standard practice.
- The choir group is known as the “O.K. Chorale.”
- The pastor wears boots.
- Four generations of the same family sit together in worship.
- There is no such thing as a “secret” sin.
- Baptism is referred to as “branding.”
- There’s a special fundraiser for a new septic tank.
- Finding and returning lost sheep isn’t just a parable.
- High notes on the organ can set the dogs to howling.
- The final words of the benediction are, “Ya’ll come back now, ya hear”.
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