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You Know You Are A Bad Cook When

Burning Pots In The Kitchen. Image used under a Collective Commons License from

This is another of those hilarious funny top ten lists, You Know You Are A Bad Cook When… I wonder how many of these you can identify with or have personally experienced.

You Know You Are A Bad Cook When

You use the smoke alarm as a cooking timer.

You consider it a culinary success if the Pop-Tart stays in one piece.

Your dog goes to the neighbors’ to eat.

Your family buys Mylanta and Gavescon in bulk.

When you barbecue, two of your kids hold water guns and the third stands ready by the phone with “911” on speed-dial.

Your family automatically heads for the dinner table every time they hear a fire truck siren.

The Local Council insists that all your garbage cans be marked with biohazard symbols.

Your microwave display reads “TILT!”

Your two best recipes are meat loaf and apple pie, but your dinner guests can’t tell which is which.

Your pie filling bubbles over and eats the enamel off the bottom of the oven.

You’ve used three boxes of scouring pads and a bottle of Drano and a crowbar and that macaroni and cheese still won’t let go of the saucepan.

Pest control companies keep pestering you for your recipes.

You make tuna noodle surprise and the surprise is that it glows in the dark and melts the silverware.

Your family prays AFTER they eat!

Image used under a Collective Commons License from

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