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Yorkshire Jokes

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In the county of Yorkshire in the north of England they speak with a very unique accent. 

If you have trouble understanding any of these jokes, I recommend spending a week watching old episodes of All Creatures Great And Small or Last Of The Summer Wine, and then coming back for another look…

A Yorkshire man takes his pet cat to the vet.

Yorkshireman: “Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat.”

Vet: “Is it a tom ?”

Yorkshireman: “Nay, I’ve browt it wi’ mi.”

A Yorkshireman’s dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.

Yorkshireman: “Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?”

Jeweller: “Do you want it 18 carat?”

Yorkshireman: “No I want it chewin’ a bone, yer daft beggar!”

A Yorkshire man’s wife dies and the widower decides that her headstone should have the words “She were Thine” engraved on it.

He calls the stone mason, who assures him that the headstone will be ready a few days after the funeral.

True to his word the stone mason calls the widower to say that the headstone is ready and would he like to come and have a look.

When the widower gets there he takes one look at the stone to see that it’s been engraved “She were Thin”.

He explodes – good grief, man, you’ve left the flamin’ “e” out!

The stone mason apologises and assures the poor widower that it will be rectified the following morning.

Next day comes and the widower returns to the stone mason – “There you go sir, I’ve put the “e” on the stone for you”..

The widower looks at the stone and then reads out aloud – “E, She were Thin”.

Bloke from Barnsley with a sore backside asks chemist “Nah then lad, does tha sell arse cream?”

Chemist replies “Aye, Magnum or Cornetto?”

We decided that no section of Yorkshire Jokes would be complete without a video of The Goodies Yorkshire “Black Pudding” sketch.

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