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What’s Your Business Sign?

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What’s your business sign? Just like labelling people by their star sign, I think everyone ought to be labelled by their business sign, don’t you? If you are not sure what I mean, just read on and I think you will end up agreeing with me.

We are all used to being categorized by our Astrological or star sign, but what if you were to assign personality types to different types of job, so you could analyze and categorize people by the type of work that they did.

Well, I am not sure who came up with this list below, but someone very cleverly described the type of person who was likely to fit into various job roles.

I don’t know how well your job role fits your personality, but I certainly know people in some roles who fit theirs perfectly.


You are ambitious yet stupid.

You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now.

You are good at inventing new ways for a company to spend their money, which at the end of the day don’t result in more sales.

Least compatible with Sales.


This is the laziest of all signs, often referred to as “marketing without a degree.”

You are also self-centered and paranoid.

Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with customers so you can “concentrate on the big picture.”

You seek admiration for your golf game throughout your life.


Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead content to completely control everything that happens at your workplace.

Often even YOU don’t understand what you are saying but who the hell can tell.

You delight in telling people how you invented new ways of provessing information, until someone let’s on that your concept has been around for donkey’s years.

It is written that Geeks shall inherit the Earth.


One of only two signs that you actually studied in school.

It is said that engineers place ninety percent of all Personal Ads.

You can be happy with yourself; your office is full of all the latest “ergodynamic” gadgets.

However, we all know what is really causing your “carpal tunnel syndrome.”


The only other sign that you studied in school.

You are mostly immune from office politics.

You are the most feared person in the organization; combined with your extreme organizational traits, the majority of rumors concerning you say that you are completely insane.


Ironically, given your access to confidential information, you tend to be the biggest gossip within the organization.

Possibly the only other person that does less work than marketing, you are unable to return any calls today because you have to get a haircut, have lunch AND then mail a letter.

Being very much in control of other departments when it comes to hiring and firing staff, you have an over zealous controlling attitude.


Catty, cutthroat, yet completely spineless, you are destined to remain at your current job for the rest of your life.

Unable to make a single decision you tend to measure your worth by the number of meetings you can schedule for yourself.

Best suited to marry other “Middle Managers” as everyone in your social circle is a “Middle Manager.”


(See above – Same sign, different title)


Bright, cheery, positive, you are a fifty cent cab ride from taking your own life.

As children very few of you asked your parents for a little cubicle for your room and a headset so you could pretend to play “Customer Service.”

Continually passed over for promotions, your best bet is to sleep with your manager.


Lacking any specific knowledge, you use acronyms to avoid revealing your utter lack of experience.

You have convinced yourself that your “skills” are in demand and that you could get a higher paying job with any other organization in a heartbeat.

You will spend an eternity contemplating these career opportunities without ever taking direct action.


As a “person” that profits from the success of others, most people who actually work for a living disdain you.

Paid on commission and susceptible to alcoholism, your ulcers and frequent heart attacks correspond directly with fluctuations in the stock market.


You are brilliant or lucky.

Your inability to figure out complex systems such as the fax machine suggest the latter.


Paid to take days off.

Government workers are genius inventors, like the invention of new Holidays.

They usually suffer from deep depression or anxiety and usually commit serious crimes while on the job …

Thus the term “GO POSTAL”

I do have one good question though…

How do you categorize the lazy bums who deliberately live off benefits and do everything they can to avoid doing any work for a living?

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