What The Car You Drive Says About You

The type of car that you drive often says an awful lot about you, who you think you are and how you express your personality.

In theory I guess this ought to apply to all of us, but in reality, and this is very true in my case, many of us just drive what we can afford, even if it is a pile of junk, and it usually is!

But for those of you who can afford something better, this is what the type of car you drive says about you:

  • Acura Integra – I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars
  • Acura Legend – I’m too bland for German cars
  • Acura NSX – I am impotent
  • Audi 90 – I enjoy putting out engine fires
  • Buick Park Avenue – I am older than 34 of the 50 states
  • Cadillac Eldorado – I am a very good Mary Kay salesman
  • Cadillac Seville – I am a pimp
  • Chevrolet Camaro – I enjoy beating the hell out of people
  • Chevrolet Chevette – I like people’s reactions when I tell them I have a ‘Vette
  • Chevrolet Corvette – I’m in a mid-life crisis
  • Chevrolet El Camino – I am leading a militia to overthrow the government
  • Chrysler Cordoba – I dig the rich Corinthian leather
  • Datsun 280Z – I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well
  • Dodge Dart – I teach third grade special education and I voted for Eisenhower
  • Dodge Daytona – I delivered pizza for four years to get this car
  • Ford Fairmont – (See Dodge Dart)
  • Ford Mustang – I slow down to 85 in school zones
  • Ford Crown Victoria – I enjoy having people slow to 55mph and change lanes when I pull up behind them
  • Geo Storm – I will start the 11th grade in the fall
  • Geo Tracker – I will start the 12th grade in the fall
  • Honda del Sol – I have always said, half a convertible is better than no convertible at all
  • Honda Civic – I have just graduated and have no credit
  • Honda Accord – I lack any originality and am basically a lemming
  • Infiniti Q45 – I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending
  • Isuzu Impulse – I do not give a damn about J.D. Power or his reports
  • Jaguar XJ6 – I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280 days per year
  • Kia Sephia – I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu Corp
  • Lincoln Town Car – I live for bingo and covered dish suppers
  • Mercury Grand Marquis – (See above)
  • Mazda Miata – I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen-wheeler
  • Mitsubishi Diamante – I don’t know what it means either
  • Oldsmobile Cutlass – I just stole this car and I’m going to make a fortune off the parts
  • Peugeot 505 Diesel – I am on the EPA’s Ten Most Wanted List
  • Porsche 911 Turbo – I have a three inch thingie
  • Porsche 944 – l am dating big haired women that otherwise would be inaccessible to me
  • Saturn SC2 – (See Honda Civic)
  • Subaru Legacy – I have always wanted a Japanese car even more inferior than the Isuzu
  • Toyota Camry – I am still in the closet
  • Volkswagon Beetle – I still watch Partridge Family reruns
  • Volkswagon Cabriolet – I am out of the closet
  • Volkswagon Microbus – I am tripping right now

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