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What If People Treated Cars Like Computers?

Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://pixabay.com/es/photos/buick-cl%C3%A1sico-coche-veh%C3%ADculo-retro-4713668/

Have you ever stopped to wonder what it would be like if people treated cars like computers?

Along with other car manufacturers, General Motors doesn’t have a help line for people who don’t know how to drive, because people don’t treat cars like they do computers.

Well, most people don’t fortunately, they seem to at least know a little about cars before they get behind the wheel, whereas some people can use computers for 10 years or more and still not have a clue.

But, imagine if people did try and drive cars when they didn’t have a clue and there was a helpline at good old General Motors to help get beginners out of trouble.

Your first level support calls might just go something like this…

HelpLine: “General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?”
Customer: “I got in my car and closed the door and nothing happened!”
HelpLine: “Did you put the key in the ignition slot and turn it?”
Customer: “What’s an ignition?”
HelpLine: “It’s a starter motor that draws current from your battery and turns over the engine.”
Customer: “Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to know all these technical terms just to use my car?”

HelpLine: “General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?”
Customer: “My car ran fine for a week and now it won’t go anywhere!”
HelpLine: “Is the gas tank empty?”
Customer: “Huh? How do I know?”
HelpLine: “There’s a little gauge on the front panel with a needle and markings from ‘E’ to ‘F’. Where is the needle pointing?”
Customer: “It’s pointing to ‘E’. What does that mean?”
HelpLine: “It means you have to visit a gasoline vendor and purchase some more gasoline. You can install it yourself or pay the vendor to install it for you.”
Customer: “What? I paid $12,000 for this car! Now you tell me that I have to keep buying more components? I want a car that comes with everything built in!”

HelpLine: “General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?”
Customer: “Your cars suck!”
HelpLine: “What’s wrong?”
Customer: “It crashed, that’s what wrong!”
HelpLine: “What were you doing?”
Customer: “I wanted it to run faster, so I pushed the accelerator pedal all the way to the floor. It worked for a while and then it crashed and it won’t start now!”
HelpLine: “It’s your responsibility if you misuse the product. What do you expect us to do about it?”
Customer: “I want you to send me the latest version that doesn’t crash any more!”

HelpLine: “General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?”
Customer: “Hi, I just bought my first car, and I chose your car because it has automatic transmission, cruise control, power steering, power brakes, and power door locks.”
HelpLine: “Thanks for buying our car. How can I help you?”
Customer: “How do I work it?”
HelpLine: “Do you know how to drive?”
Customer: “Do I know how to what?”
HelpLine: “Do you know how to drive?”
Customer: “I’m not a technical person. I just want to go places in my car!”


Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://pixabay.com/es/photos/buick-cl%C3%A1sico-coche-veh%C3%ADculo-retro-4713668/

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