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Two Irishmen Adrift

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Two Irishmen, Patrick and Michael, had been shipwrecked after their ship caught fire and sank and now they were adrift on a lifeboat in the middle of the ocean, following a dramatic escape from the burning vessel.

While rummaging through the lifeboat’s provisions to see what he could find, Patrick stumbled across a dirty old lamp.

Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, Patrick rubbed the lamp vigorously.

To his amazement, a miracle happened. A puff of purple smoke appeared from the old lamp and suddenly a genie came forth and rose up into the air with the smoke.

The genie did as all genies seem to do, at least in the tales that I have heard and explained to our friends Patrick and Michael about what he could do for them, granting wishes.

This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three like you hear in most of the other stories about genies and old lamps.

Well, without giving much thought to the matter, Patrick blurted out, “Make the entire Ocean into Guinness!”

The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals.

At the same time as the miracle occurred, the genie vanished into thin air, never to be seen again. Well, at least not by Patrick or Michael.

Only the gentle lapping of Guiness on the hull of the lifeboat broke the stillness, as the two Irishmen considered their circumstances.

Michael looked disgustingly at Patrick, whose wish had been granted.

After a long, long, tension filled interval, he spoke.

“Nice going Patrick! … Here we are adrift in a lifeboat in the middle of the ocean and now we’re going to have to pee in the boat!!!”

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