Sometimes we just need to remember what the 12 Rules of Life really are:
RULE ONE
Never give yourself a haircut after three Margaritas.
RULE TWO
You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape.
If it doesn’t move and it should, use WD-40.
If it moves and shouldn’t, use the tape.
RULE THREE
The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are “I apologize” and “you are right.”
RULE FOUR
Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
RULE FIVE
Never pass up an opportunity to pee.
RULE SIX
If he/she says that you are too good for him/her – believe them.
RULE SEVEN
Learn to pick your battles.
Ask yourself, “Will this matter one year from now?”
“How about one month? One week? One day?”
RULE EIGHT
When you make a mistake, make amends immediately.
It’s easier to eat crow while it’s still warm.
RULE NINE
If you woke up breathing, congratulations!
You have another chance!
RULE TEN
Living well really is the best revenge.
Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you.
RULE ELEVEN
Work is good, but it’s not that important.
Money is nice, but you can’t take it with you.
Statistics show most people don’t live to spend all they saved.
Some die even before they retire.
Anything we have isn’t really ours.
It’s on loan to us while we’re here …even our kids.
RULE TWELVE
And finally…
Be really good to your family and/or friends.
You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.
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