The Laughline
Thousands Of The Best Funny Jokes To Make You Laugh


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A man walks into a bar one day, with a little turtle in his hand.

The turtle is a sorry sight to behold. His one eye is black and blue, two of his legs are bandaged, and his whole shell is taped together with duct tape.

The bartender asks the man: “What’s wrong with your turtle?”

“Nothing,” the man responds, “this turtle is very fast. Take your dog and let him stand at the end of the bar. Then go and stand at the other end of the room and call your dog. I’ll bet you $500 that before your dog reaches you, my turtle will be there.”

So, the bartender accepts the bet, thinking it’s an easy $500.

The bartender goes to the other side of the bar, and on the count of three calls his dog.

Suddenly, the man picks up his turtle, and throws it across the room. The turtle narrowly misses the bartender, and smashes into the wall.

The man says, “I told you it would be there before your dog.”

I know it’s only a joke, but I would never condone actions like this to a real turtle of course. It’s just one of many bizarre jokes involving animals in a bar.

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