The Laughline
Thousands Of Funny Jokes To Make You Laugh


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A man walked into a bar one day, with a little turtle in his hand.

The poor little turtle was a sorry sight to behold. His one eye was black and blue, two of his legs were bandaged and his whole shell was taped together with duct tape.

The bartender asked the man: “What’s wrong with your turtle?”

“Nothing wrong with him”, the man responded, “this turtle is very fast. Take your dog and let him stand at the end of the bar. Then go and stand at the other end of the room and call your dog. I’ll bet you $500 that before your dog reaches you, my turtle will be there”.

So, the bartender accepted the bet, thinking that this had to be an easy $500.

He walked his dog and told him to sit and stay ad one end of the bar.

The bartender went to the other side of the bar and on the count of three called his dog.

Suddenly, the man picked up his turtle and threw it across the room.

The turtle narrowly missed the bartender and smashed into the wall.

The man said, “There you go, I told you it would be there before your dog””

I know it’s only a joke, but I would never condone actions like this to a real turtle of course. It’s just one of many bizarre jokes involving animals in a bar.

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