Back in my college days I learned quite a lot of truths about life from bad 80’s movies, such as:
- Smart people wear thick glasses, button-down shirts, and slacks. Dumb people wear football uniforms.
- Everyone in high school was having sex except you and the class valedictorian.
- Your dog is way smarter than you.
- France is populated entirely by attractive young women and Gerard Depardieu.
- Every Southern town has a fat redneck sheriff named “Smokey.”
- Mexico is populated entirely by vacationing frat boys.
- Parents always come back from vacation a day early.
- There are no ugly prostitutes.
- It’s only possible to win any sporting event in the last three seconds of the game.
- Cheerleaders hate having their shirts on.
- The best way to escape your enemies is to drive on the wrong side of the road.
- A student who’s failing every class can still rig up an elaborate device to to answer his phone when he calls in sick.
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