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Top Ten Signs You Are Having An Easy Time In Jail

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Spending time in jail is supposed to be time spent paying for your crimes, but sometimes a jail sentence is far too easy in the opinion of a lot of people. Here are the top ten signs that you might just be having an easy time in jail at the expense of the taxpayer:

  1. Every night there’s a mint on your pillow.
  2. Bars of your cell are rusty from Jacuzzi-steam.
  3. Guards meet with you to help plan your escape.
  4. They replaced your regular coffee with Folgers crystals. In the resulting riot, ten died.
  5. You share a cell with one of Heidi Fleiss’ girls.
  6. You get frequent flier miles for good behavior.
  7. You have a summer cell in the Hamptons.
  8. Every day around 4:00 — pony rides!
  9. Other inmates refer to your cell as “Margaritaville.”
  10. You call the warden “daddy.”

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