Here are some signs that you might just be having an easy time in jail at the expense of the taxpayer:
- Every night there’s a mint on your pillow.
- Bars of your cell are rusty from Jacuzzi-steam.
- Guards meet with you to help plan your escape.
- They replaced your regular coffee with Folgers crystals. In the resulting riot, ten died.
- You share a cell with one of Heidi Fleiss’ girls.
- You get frequent flier miles for good behavior.
- You have a summer cell in the Hamptons.
- Every day around 4:00 — pony rides!
- Other inmates refer to your cell as “Margaritaville.”
- You call the warden “daddy.”
Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://www.flickr.com/photos/timpearcelosgatos/3557791151