The Laughline
Thousands Of Really Funny Jokes To Make You Laugh

Thirsty Vampire Bats

Image used under a Collective Commons License from:’s been a hot dry summer in Transylvania, and three thirsty Vampire bats are hanging upside down in their cave (as bats do), waiting for the sun to set so they can fly off in search of a drink.

As the sun disappeared below the horizon, the first Vampire bat let go of the ceiling of the cave, swooped down and flew out across the valley in search of a liquid meal.

A short time later, he was back, his lips coated in blood.

His friends asked him what he found, but he replied sadly, “Just a field mouse, a mere morsel really. I’m still gasping for a drink”.

The second Vampire bat can hold off no longer, so he too lets go of the roof of the cave, swoops down and head out across the valley.

A short time later, he too returns, his lips dripping blood.

“Well?”, his friends asked.

“A rabbit”, the Vampire bat replied. “A rabbit, that’s all I saw. Slim pickings tonight if you ask me. I’m still really thirsty!”

Well as you can probably guess, the third Vampire bat them lets go of the roof of the cave, swoops down and heads off across the valley.

He is gone for ages, and his companions are beginning to wonder what happened to him.

Finally he returns, his face literally covered in blood. Not just covered mind, blood is iterally dripping from every part of his body.

His companions gaze at him in awe.

The first one asks, “Well, what did you find? You went up to that old farmhouse and feasted on the old farmer’s wife didn’t you?”

The Vampire bat just shook his head, and started to reply when the second bat piped up.

“You did it didn’t you! You went up to the castle on the hill, flew in through an open window, snuck into the bedroom of the Lord’s beautiful young daughter and drained every last drop of blood from her veins. You did, didn’t you?”

The third Vampire bat again just shook his head and lowered it in shame.

The first two bats waited for a good few minutes for an answer, and then the third Vampire bat answered them.

“Well, I flew off down the valley at almost 50 miles an hour. Swerving from side to side, I flew faster and faster searching for food. I thought I would head up to the castle, so just before the end of the valley I banked right and flew just about the fasted I have ever flown”.

The other two Vampire bats waited paitiently for the third Vampire bat to regain his breath.

“You know that large oak tree at the end of the valley?”, he asked them.

“Yes of course”, they both said.

“Well”, the third Vampire bat continued, “I flew straight into it at 100 miles an hour!”

Image used under a Collective Commons License from:

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