Things that you wish you could say at work. I don’t know who came up with this list, but not only are there a few on the list that I wish I was brave enough to say out loud in the office, but there are also some that remind me of a few people that I have worked with in the past and am quite happy to never see again.
I know work has it’s ups and downs, and hopefully for you and me today is an up day, but enjoy the list nevertheless, and please share if you do.
- Ah, I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
- I don’t know what your problem is, but I bet it’s hard to pronounce.
- How about never? Is never good for you?
- I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
- I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
- I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter.
- I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
- I don’t work here. I’m a consultant.
- It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a word you’re saying.
- I can see your point, but I STILL think you’re full of crap.
- I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
- You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
- I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don’t give a darn.
- I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
- I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
- It’ll be ready Thursday – now, which Thursday is another question.
- The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
- Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
- What am I? Fly paper for freaks?
- I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant.
- It’s a thankless job, but I’ve got a lot of Karma to burn off.
- Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
- No, my powers can only be used for good.
- You sound reasonable. Time to up the medication.
- And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be?
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