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Things That You Wish You Could Say At Work

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Things that you wish you could say at work. I don’t know who came up with this list, but not only are there a few on the list that I wish I was brave enough to say out loud in the office, but there are also some that remind me of a few people that I have worked with in the past and am quite happy to never see again.

I know work has it’s ups and downs, and hopefully for you and me today is an up day, but enjoy the list nevertheless, and please share if you do.

  • Ah, I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
  • I don’t know what your problem is, but I bet it’s hard to pronounce.
  • How about never? Is never good for you?
  • I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
  • I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
  • I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter.
  • I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
  • I don’t work here. I’m a consultant.
  • It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a word you’re saying.
  • I can see your point, but I STILL think you’re full of crap.
  • I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
  • You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
  • I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don’t give a darn.
  • I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
  • I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
  • It’ll be ready Thursday – now, which Thursday is another question.
  • The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
  • Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
  • What am I? Fly paper for freaks?
  • I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant.
  • It’s a thankless job, but I’ve got a lot of Karma to burn off.
  • Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
  • No, my powers can only be used for good.
  • You sound reasonable. Time to up the medication.
  • And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be?

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