A first grader was sitting in class as the teacher was reading the students the story of the Three Little Pigs.
She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to acquire building materials for his home.
The teacher said to the class, “And so the pig went up to the man with a wheelbarrow full of straw and said, ‘Pardon me sir, but might I have some of that straw to build my house with?'”
Then the teacher asked the class, “And what do you think that man said?”
One little boy raised his hand and said, “I know! I know!, he said, ‘Holy smokes! A talking pig!'”
(The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.)
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to “honor thy father and thy mother,” she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?”
Without missing a beat, one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, “Thou shall not kill.”
An honest seven-year-old girl admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown had kissed her after class “.
How did that happen?” gasped her mother.
“It wasn’t easy,” admitted the young lady, “but three girls helped me catch him.”
One day, a little girl was sitting in the kitchen and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink.
She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of your hairs white, Momma?”
Her mother replied, “Well, every time you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.”
The little girl thought about this revelation for awhile, and then said,”So, Momma, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?”
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture “.
Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer; she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, he’s a doctor.'”
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, “And there’s the teacher; she’s dead.”
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.
Trying to make the matter clearer, he said, “Now, boys, if I stood on my head, the blood would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.”
“Yes, sir,” the boys said.
“Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position,the blood doesn’t run into my feet?” the teacher asked.
A little fellow shouted, “Cause yer feet ain’t empty.”
For weeks, a six-year-old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house.
One day his mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child.
The six-year-old was obviously impressed, but made no comment.
Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event.
The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, “Tommy, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?”
Tommy burst into tears and confessed, “I think Mommy ate it!”
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