The Stress Relief Diet

This is the Stress Relief Diet. It’s a specially formulated diet designed to help women cope with the stress that builds during the day.

I’m not sure if it the diet itself helps you to lose weight or not, but it definitely helps to combat stress.

BREAKFAST

• 1 grapefruit
• 1 slice whole-wheat toast
• 1 cup skim milk

LUNCH

• 1 small portion lean, steamed chicken with a cup of spinach
• 1 cup herbal tea
• 1 Hershey’s Kiss

AFTERNOON TEA

• The rest of the Hershey Kisses in the bag
• 1 tub of Hagen-Daaz ice cream with  chocolate-chip topping

DINNER

• 4 glasses of wine (red or white)
• 2 loaves garlic bread
• 1 family size Supreme pizza
• 3 Snickers bars

LATE NIGHT SNACK

• 1 whole Sarah Lee cheesecake (eaten directly  from the freezer)

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REMEMBER: “Stressed” spelled backward is “desserts.”

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RULES FOR THIS DIET

1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda.
3. When you eat with someone else, calories don’t count if you don’t eat more than they do.
4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as brandy, hot chocolate and Sara Lee cheesecake
5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
6. Movie related foods (Milk Duds, Buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots,Tootsie Rolls, etc.) do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one’s personal fuel.
7. Cookie pieces contain no calories–the process of breaking causes calorie leakage.
8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are: peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon making a sundae.
9. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are: Spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and white chocolate. NOTE: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color.
10. Foods that are frozen have no calories because calories are units of heat. Examples are ice cream, frozen pies and popsicles.

Enjoy 🙂

If you delete this message, you will gain 10 pounds immediately.  (That’s why I had to pass this on — I didn’t want to risk it! 🙂

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Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://www.flickr.com/photos/isox4/5167980026