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The Software Engineer

Software engineer. Image used under a Collective Commons License from

A software engineer decided he needed a really good break from work after completing a long and complicated project, so he booked a luxury cruise to the islands of Polynesia in the Pacific, hoping that the tranquility of the ocean would help him to relax and unwind.

Having spent a few days learning to adapt to being at sea, he gradually got used to the slower pace of life on board the cruise ship and was really beginning to enjoy himself, until out of nowhere a hurricane blew in and a huge wave caused the ship to capsize.

Fortunately the software engineer was up on deck at the time and didn’t get trapped below and he managed to swim a short distance to an upturned lifeboat. He pulled himself onto this and collapsed exhausted.

The storm disappeared as quickly as it arrived, leaving the man alone on his life raft in the middle of an empty ocean.

The next day, he was woken by the sound of waves breaking on the shore and saw in the distance an island, which a gentle breeze was slowly leading him to.

Leaving his life raft behind on the island’s outer reef, he managed to swim ashore and quickly surveyed his surroundings. The island was deserted, but there was an abundance of coconut trees, some banana trees and even a freshwater pool which was fed from a spring which emerged from the rocks above it. It seemed like he indeed had found paradise.

Having built himself a primitive shelter from some fallen branches and leaves from the palm and banana trees, he soon slipped into a daily lifestyle of obtaining food and then spending hour after hour sitting under a coconut tree, alone with his thoughts.

A few months later, he was sitting under the coconut tree as usual, when he was woken by a strange sound. He looked up and to his surprise he saw a small boat that was being rowed towards the shore.

On reaching the island, the occupier got out of the boat and the software engineer could see to his surprise that it was a woman, a gorgeous woman at that.

She walked up the beach and said to him, “Hi there, I’ve just come from the other side of the island, were you on the cruise ship that capsized as well?”

“Yes, I was”, the software engineer replied, still in a state of surprise.

Gathering his thoughts, he then asked the woman, “Where did you get that rowboat?”

“Well”, the woman replied, “I whittled the oars from branches of a gum tree, I wove the reinforced gunwale from palm branches and I made the keel and stern from a Eucalyptus tree”.

“But what on earth did you use for tools?” the software engineer asked her, totally perplexed.

“On the other side of the island there is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock which is exposed on near the base of a cliff. I found that if I heated it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it would melt into forgeable ductile iron. And that’s how I got the tools to make the rowboat”, she said.

“But what about you”, she added, “where have you been living all this time? I don’t see a shelter anywhere?”.

“To be honest”, the software engineer replied, “I did build a primitive shelter, but most nights I’ve just been sleeping rough on the beach”.

“Would you like to come to my place then?” the woman asked.

The engineer nodded and the woman navigated the boat through the waves on the shore to where the water was calmer, then rowed them around to her side of the island, where she brought the boat into shallow water, jumped out, pulled it into the shore and then tied it up to a tree with a length of hand woven rope.

She led the man up the beach and then along a winding stone walk that she had laid, which went around a palm tree and then up a short slope leading away from the beach.

When they stopped, the software engineer looked up and his jaw literally dropped. In front of them was an exquisite house, which had been built on a ridge of rock about 20 feet above the beach.

“I know it’s not much, but I call it home”, the woman said and invited the man to go inside.

“Sit down, please”, she said, “would you like to have a drink?”

“No, no thanks”, the software engineer said, “If I have one more coconut juice I’ll probably throw up!”

“No worries, it won’t be coconut juice”, the woman replied with a laugh. “I have a still out back. It’s a bit crude, but it works. Would you like an authentic pina colada?”

The man was totally dumbfounded again as the woman handed him his drink, which was served in a scooped out coconut and it even had a little umbrella on the top.

The pair of them sat down on her couch and proceeded to talk about the shipwreck and their experiences on the island since they had been cast away there.

After exchanging stories, the woman said to him, “Tell me, have you always had a beard?”

“No”, the software engineer replied, “I was clean shaven all of my life until I ended up on this island, but I lost everything so I haven’t been able to shave since I got washed up here”.

“Well if you would like to have a shave, she said, “there’s a razor upstairs in the bathroom cabinet”.

By this point the man had given up questioning anything the woman said, so he went upstairs to the bathroom and had a wonderful shave with an intricate device made out of bone and shell, which was sharpened to perfection.

Then he had a shower, not even attempting to comprehend how she had managed to get warm water into the bathroom, then he went back downstairs.

He couldn’t help but admire the skillfully carved banister as he walked down the stairs.

“You look great”, the woman said, “It’s amazing what a shower and shave can do for you isn’t it”. The man nodded as he sipped away at his pina colada.

“I’m going to go up and slip into something more comfortable” she said and she disappeared upstairs.

A short time later, the woman, who was now smelling faintly of gardenias, returned wearing a revealing nightgown, which had been fashioned out of pounded palm fronds and she had a gardenia in her hair, like the women of Tahiti wear. She looked absolutely stunning.

“Tell me”, she asked the man, “we’ve both been out here on this remote island for a very long time with no companionship. I’ve been lonely, haven’t you been lonely too, you know what I mean? There has to be something that you really, really miss? Something that all men and woman need? Something that would be really nice to have right now?” As she spoke, she slowly pulled the top of her nightgown open a little, revealing a few inches of the most amazing cleavage.

“Yes, there is!” the man replied, beginning to think that there was nothing that this amazing woman couldn’t do.

“There is something I’ve wanted to do for so long”, he said, in an excited voice, “but on this island all alone, it was just… well, it was impossible”.

“Well, it’s not impossible any more”, the woman said in a seductive voice, moving closer to him and stroking his thigh with her fingers.

The software engineer, practically panting in excitement, said breathlessly, “You mean, you have actually figured out a way that we can check our email from here?”

Image used under a Collective Commons License from

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