Some marriages work, while others don’t, which is great if yours does work, but life can be hell if you are in a marriage that just isn’t working.

Fortunately, my wife and I have found the secret to making a marriage work, and we do (for the most part at least) have a happy marriage.

It’s not been easy of course. It’s taken a number of years to figure out, and this is her second marriage, which it’s actually my third!

But finally, lessons learned, we have found a formula that works, and would like to share some tips on how to make a marriage happy.

• Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little wine, some good food and companionship. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
• We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Florida and mine is in New York.
• I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
• I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. “Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!” she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
• We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
• She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker. Then she said, “There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!” So I bought her an electric chair.
• My wife told me the car wasn’t running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was, she told me, “In the lake.”
• My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn’t lost weight, but BOY, can she climb a tree now!
• She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
• She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, “Am I too late for the garbage?” The driver said, “No, jump in!”

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