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The Pretzel Hold

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At the Summer Olympic games a Russian wrestler and a Redneck wrestler from the USA were set to square off for the Olympic gold medal.

Before the final match, the Redneck wrestler’s trainer came to him and said, “Now, don’t forget all the research we’ve done on this Russian wrestler.  He’s never lost a match because of this ‘pretzel‘ hold he has. Whatever you do, do not let him get you in that hold! If he does, you’re finished”.

The redneck wrestler nodded to his trainer in acknowledgment.

So, as the wrestling match started, the Redneck and the Russian wrestlers circled around each other several times, each looking for an opening.

All of a sudden, the Russian wrestler lunged forward, grabbing the Redneck and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold.

A sigh of disappointment rose up from the crowd and the trainer buried his face in his hands, for he knew that the wrestling match was lost.

He raised his hands and put them over his eyes as he just couldn’t watch the inevitable happen.

Suddenly, there was a long, high pitched scream, followed by a cheer from the crowd.

The trainer took his hands away from his eyes just in time to watch the Russian wrestler go flying up in the air.

The Russian’s back hit the mat with a resounding thud and the Redneck collapsed on top of him, pinning him to the floor and winning the match.

The trainer was completely astounded.

When he finally got to talk to his wrestler alone, he asked “How did you ever get out of that pretzel hold? No one has ever done it before!”

The Redneck wrestler answered “Well, I was about ready to give up when he got me in that pretzel hold, but at the last moment I opened my eyes and saw this pair of testicles right in front of my face.  I had nothing to lose, so with my last ounce of strength, I stretched out my neck and bit those babies just as hard as I could”.

The trainer exclaimed, “Really? That’s what finished him off?”

“Not really”, the Redneck replied.  “You’d be amazed how strong you get when you bite your own testicles!”

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