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The Perfect Worker

Image Copyright Tony Payne

How many of us have had to put up with “The Perfect Worker” in our lives?

You know the type: Always seen kissing the management’s rear end, making out that they are really good at their job, when in fact they are a waste of air and hoping that their next review or appraisal leads to a decent pay rise.

Well, things don’t always work in their favour, as can be seen in this written appraisal below:

  1. Brian Wilson, my assistant tax accountant, can always be found
  2. hard at work in his cubicle. Brian works independently, without
  3. wasting company time talking to colleagues. Brian never
  4. thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
  5. finishes given assignments on time. Often he takes extended
  6. measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
  7. breaks. Brian is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
  8. vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
  9. knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Brian can be
  10. classed as a high-caliber employee, the type which cannot be
  11. dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Brian be
  12. promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
  13. executed as soon as possible.


That idiot was standing over my shoulder while I wrote the report sent to you earlier today. Kindly re-read only the odd lines and ignore the rest.

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