It was the middle of the night and this man was in the bedroom with his wife and they had not long fallen asleep, when he heard a loud knocking on the front door.
He rolled over and looked at the clock on his bedside table and to his surprise it was half past three in the morning!
“Sod that for a game of soldiers”, he thought to hmself and fortunately his wife was still asleep, so he rolled over and tried to go back to sleep.
A few minutes later, a louder knock followed, just as he was dropping off to sleep again and this time the knocking woke his wife up as well.
“Aren’t you going to answer that?” his wife said.
So, reluctantly, the man dragged himself out of bed and went downstairs.
He opened the front door and this bloke was stood outside.
“Here mate” the stranger said, “can you give us a push?”
“No, piss off, it’s half three in the morning and I was in bed asleep” the man said and shut the door on the stranger.
So the man went back up to bed, got under the covers and told his wife what happened.
She thought for a minute, then said to him, “Roger, you really are awful. Do you remember that night when we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the babysitter and you had to knock on that man’s house to get us started again? What would have happened if he had told us to piss off?”
Roger thought it over and could see that his wife’s comment made sense, so now feeling rather guilty, he got out of bed again, got dressed and went downstairs.
He opened the front door, but couldn’t see the stranger anywhere.
So he shouted out, “Here mate, do you still want a push?”
A few seconds later, he heard a voice cry out, “Yes please mate”.
The man look all around, but he couldn’t see the stranger anywhere, so he shouted again, “Where are you?”
The stranger called out…
“I’m over here on the swings”.
Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Cottage_front_porch_at_night_in_Nuthurst,_West_Sussex_England.jpg