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The Joys Of Getting Old

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We all know that getting old is rarely something to look forward to, but I would like to tell you about the joys of getting old.

Yes, getting old doesn’t have to be all bad news. There are in fact some benefits to getting old and I’m sure you are unaware of some of these.

I’m sure you are aware that as you get older your brain cells start to die off. Well, one side effect of this is that once you reach a certain age, your supply of brain cells finally reaches a manageable size (I think I reached that point years ago).

You no longer have to worry about secrets. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.

Who cares about waiting for the weather forecast to come on television. Your joints have become more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

No more unexpected late night visitors. People call on you at 9pm and ask, “Did I wake you?”

People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. Old people are expected to have all sorts of things wrong with them and to take lots of pills.

You have learned everything that the university of hard knocks has to teach you. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

You don’t have to worry about warranties on things that you buy, as things you buy now won’t have time to wear out.

You can eat dinner at 4pm if you want to. It’s a given thing that old people like to eat dinner early.

You can finally live without sex, unless you are one of the few whose body just wants to keep going. Sadly though, you can’t live without your glasses though. Yes I’m at that point too. I don’t mean I can live without sex, just can’t manage without my glasses!

Once upon a time it would have bored you to tears, but now you actually enjoy hearing about other peoples operations.

When you go for a coffee morning with your fellow seniors, you can get into heated arguments about pension plans.

No more compaints about loud music from the neighbors when you have a few friends over. You can now have a party and the neighbors don’t even realize it. Well, that is as long as your friends have remembered to bring their hearing aids.

You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge. I can appreciate that, I’m happy to drive within the speed limit and my Dad got to the point where he was scared to drive, bless his soul.

You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room. Well, unless it’s a good looking Granny maybe!

You sing along with elevator music, well as long as you can hear it! Could be the elevator music is all in your head though.

You get to a point where your eyesight won’t get much worse. Reminds me I need to get mine checked again. Oh joy!

Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off. Nothing more to pay in, it’s time to withdraw. Sadly though, that small fortune you once thought you might get when you are old turns out to be a lot less than it seemed when you took the plan out.

You can’t remember who sent you this list. And that’s probably a good thing. So what you need to do it just share this article with all your friends, we are sure they will get some laughs out of it.

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