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The Irishman, The Englishman And The Egg

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Did you hear the story of the Irishman, the Englishman and the egg?

An Irishman kept a chicken and every morning he would look in his garden and pick up one of his chicken’s eggs for his breakfast.

One morning, he looked into his garden and saw that the chicken had got through the fence and laid an egg in the Englishman’s garden.

He was about to go next door, when he saw the Englishman come out into his garden and pick up the egg.

The Irishman ran up to the Englishman and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the chicken.

The Englishman disagreed with the Irishman, because the egg had been laid on his property.

They argued for a while until finally, the Irishman said to his neighbour, “In my family, we normally solve disputes like this. I kick you in the groin and time how long it takes you to get back up. Then you kick me in the groin and time how long it takes for me to get up. Whoever gets up quicker wins the egg”.

Well, the Englishman agreed to this and so the Irishman found his heaviest pair of boots and put them on. He took a few steps back, then ran toward the Englishman and kicked as hard as he could in the groin.

The Englishman fell to the floor clutching himself, howling in agony. He laid there rolling around on the ground for a good 30 minutes.

Eventually, the Englishman stood up and said, “Okay, now it’s my turn to kick you”.

The Irishman replied, “Keep the damn egg”.

And there folks is some good old Irish logic for you.

Image used under a Collective Commons License from

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