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The Five Stages Of Drunkenness

Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://pixabay.com/photos/homeless-alcoholism-sadness-drunk-1416564/

Have you heard about the Five Stages of Drunkenness?

We all know that as you drink you get drunk and the more drunk you get, the stranger your actions become. Anyhow, enjoy this definition of the five stages of drunkenness and maybe try to remember this the next time you end up having far too much to drink.

Stage 1 – SMART

This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known universe.

You know you know everything and you want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen.

At this stage you are always RIGHT and of course, the person you are talking to is very WRONG.

This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are SMART.

Stage 2 – GOOD LOOKING

This is when you realize that you are the BEST LOOKING person in the entire bar and that people fancy you.

You can go up to a perfect stranger knowing they fancy you and really want to talk to you.

Bear in mind that you are still SMART, so you can talk to this person about any subject under the sun.

Stage 3 – RICH

This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world.

You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have an armored truck full of money parked behind the bar.

You can also make bets at this stage, because of course you’re still SMART, so naturally, you will win all your bets.

It doesn’t matter how much you bet because you are RICH.

You will also buy drinks for everyone that you fancy, because you are now the BEST LOOKING person in the world.

Stage 4 – BULLET PROOF

You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone, especially those with whom you have been betting or arguing.

This is because nothing can hurt you.

At this point you can also go up to the partners of the people whom you fancy and challenge them to a battle of wits or money.

You have no fear of losing this battle, because you are SMART, you’re RICH and Hell, you’re better looking than them anyway!

Stage 5 – INVISIBLE

This is the final stage of Drunkenness.

At this point you can do anything, because NO ONE CAN SEE YOU.

You dance on a table to impress the people whom you fancy, because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you.

You are also invisible to the person who wants to fight you.

You can walk through the street singing at the top of your lungs because no one can see or hear you – and because you’re still SMART you know ALL the words.

Remember, Don’t Drink and Drive! (you might spill it!)

And the dancing! Suddenly you become the best dancer in the world, even though you look more like Elaine out of Seinfeld (scroll down for the video).

Ok come on admit it, you have been there haven’t you? Yes, more than once as well!


Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://pixabay.com/photos/homeless-alcoholism-sadness-drunk-1416564/

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