An Englishman, Welshman, Scotsman and an Irishman were all sitting down and having a few beers, while discussing what is the fastest thing in life.
After much deliberation the Englishman said, “I believe that the fastest thing in life is the process of thought, it comes out in a flash”.
“That’s a good try Laddie”, the Scotsman agreed, “but I think blinking is even quicker, it has to be the fastest thing in life”.
“Pretty good, but not quick enough Boyo”, quipped the Welshman. “I am sure electricity is faster still. Just think, if you hit any light switch you get instant light”.
After a few moments, Paddy cut in, “I believe you all have valid points, but I think diahorrhea wins!”
“What the hell are you talking about, Paddy”, the three other asked.
“Well it is like this”, Paddy said. “Last night, I went down to the local curry house for a vindaloo, which I washed down with 12 pints of Guinness, I then retired to bed. However at 3 o’clock in the morning, before I could think, blink or turn the light on, I shat myself!”
Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://pixabay.com/photos/speed-car-limit-danger-gas-auto-164063/