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The Elderly Spinster

Image used under a Collective Commons License from,3,2382.

The lawyer’s office received a call from an elderly spinster, who told the receptionist that she wanted to see the lawyer about having a will prepared.

The receptionist suggested they set up an appointment for a convenient time for the spinster to come into the office.

The elderly spinster replied, “You must understand, I have lived alone all my life, I rarely see anyone and I don’t like to go out unless I absolutely have to. Would it be possible for the lawyer to come to my house?”

The receptionist checked with the attorney, who agreed and he went to the spinster’s home the following day for the meeting, to discuss her estate and her will.

The lawyer’s first question to her was, “Would you please tell me what you have in assets and how you would like them to be distributed under your will?”

The elderly spinster replied, “Besides the furniture and accessories you see here, I have $80,000 in my savings account at the bank”.

“Tell me”, the lawyer asked, “how would you like the $80,000 to be distributed?”

The spinster said, “Well, as I’ve told you, I’ve lived a reclusive life, people have hardly ever noticed me, so I’d like them to notice when I pass on. I’d like to provide $70,000 for my funeral”.

The lawyer remarked, “Well, for $70,000 you will be able to have a funeral that will certainly be noticed and will leave a lasting impression on anyone who may not have taken much note of you! But tell me”, he continued, “what would you like to do with the remaining $10,000?”

The spinster replied, “As you know, I have never married, I have lived alone almost my entire life and in fact I have never slept with a man. Before I die, I would like you to use the $10,000 to arrange for a man to sleep with me”.

“This is a very unusual request”, the lawyer said, adding, “but I will see what I can do to arrange it and get back to you”.

That evening, the lawyer was at home telling his wife about the eccentric spinster and her weird request.

After thinking about how much she could do around the house with $10,000 and with a bit of coaxing, she got her husband to agree to provide the service himself.

She said, “I will drive you over to her house tomorrow morning and wait in the car until you are finished”.

The next morning, the lawer’s wife drove him to the spinster’s house and waited while he went into the house to satisfy the elderly spinster’s request.

She waited for over an hour, but her husband didn’t come out.

So, she blew the car horn.

A few minutes later, the upstairs bedroom window opened.

Her husband stuck his head out and yelled, “Pick me up tomorrow, she’s going to let the County bury her!”

Image used under a Collective Commons License from,3,2382.

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