The Laughline
Thousands Of Really Funny Jokes To Make You Laugh

The Dead Senator

Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Mitch_McConnell_-_Caricature_(34707450855).jpg

With the Presidential election coming up very soon, here’s a good joke about a dead Senator that you will hopefully enjoy.

A U.S. Senator was walking down the street one day when he was hit by a truck and died.

The Senator’s soul arrives in Heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

“Welcome to Heaven”, St. Peter said to him. “Before you settle in however, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official like a Senator around these parts, you see, so we’re not sure what to do with you”.

“That’s not a problem, just let me in”, the Senator said.

St. Peter replied, “Well, I would like to let you into Heaven, but I have orders from higher up, you know, The Boss, GOD!”.

St. Peter continued. “What we will need to do is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. After that you can choose where you would like to spend eternity”.

“Really, I’ve made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven”, the Senator replied in a blustering manner, trying to overrule St. Peter’s decision.

“I’m sorry Senator, but we have our rules”, replied St. Peter, in a firm manner.

So, St. Peter escorted the Senator to an elevator, opened the door, pressed a large red button with an arrow pointing downwards on it and the elevator doors closed.

Down, down, down went the elevator for what seemed like an eternity. Down, down, down it went, all the way to Hell.

Finally, the elevator stopped moving, the doors open and the Senator found himself in the middle of a green golf course.

He looked around him and in the distance was a clubhouse. Standing in front of it were all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. Everyone seemed to be very happy and they were in evening dress.

They ran up to greet him, shook his hand, and reminisced about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the American people.

They played a friendly game of golf, then retired to the clubhouse where they dined on lobster, caviar and champagne.

Also present was the Devil, who seemed to be a really friendly guy who had a good time dancing and loved to tell jokes.

The Senator was having such a good time that before he realized, it was time to go.

Everyone gave him a hearty farewell and waved him off as the elevator door closed and it began it’s long ascent back up to Heaven.

The elevator went up, up, up and finally it slowed and came to a halt, the door opened and he was back in Heaven, where St. Peter was waiting for him.

“Well”, St. Peter said to the Senator, “You have seen what it’s like in Hell. Now it’s time to visit Heaven”.

So, 24 hours passed with the Senator joining a group of contented souls who moved from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They had a good time and the 24 hours in Heaven passed by remarkably fast.

Before the Senator knew it, St Peter returned.

“Well, you’ve spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now which of these will you choose to spend your eternity in?” St Peter asked him.

The Senator reflected for a minute, then he answered.

“Well, I never would have thought it before, I mean Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be happier and better off in Hell”.

So, St. Peter escorted the Senator back to the elevator and watched as he went down, down, down to Hell.

The doors of the elevator opened and to his surprise, the Senator is in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He saw all his friends were still there, but they were dressed in rags and were busy picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash continually fell down from above.

The Devil came over to him and put his arm around his shoulder.

“I don’t understand”, the Senator stammered. “Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse. We ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, we danced and had a great time. Now there’s just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?”

The Devil looked at him, smiled and said, “Yesterday we were campaigning my friend. However, today you voted.

And that my friends is how politics is. It doesn’t matter if it’s the USA or most other countries around the world. The politicians (well most of them) only want you to believe what they want you to believe.


Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Mitch_McConnell_-Caricature(34707450855).jpg

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