A Judge asked the defendant to please stand. “You are charged with murdering a school teacher with a chainsaw”, the Judge said to him.
From out in the public gallery a man shouted out, “You lying bastard!”
“Silence in the court!”, the Judge shouted back to the man, all the while banging his gavel.
He turned to the defendant again and said, “You are also charged with killing a paperboy with a shovel”.
“You damned tightwad!”, blurted the spectator up in the public gallery again.
“Quiet!”, yelled the judge after a few more bangs of his gavel.
After the courtroom went silent again, the Judge continued. “You are also charged with killing a mailman with an electric drill”.
“You cheap son of a…” the man in the public gallery started to shout, when the Judge thundered back at him, “If you don’t tell me reason for your outbursts right now, I will hold in contempt of court!”
So the man answered the Judge, “Your honour, I’ve lived next to that lying bastard for ten years now, but do you think he ever had any tools when I needed to borrow one!”