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The Blonde Calendar Journal

Have you heard about the time that this Blonde woman decided to keep a calendar journal?

She jotted down on it all the eventful things that had happened each month throughout the year.

It read something like this…

JANUARY – Happy New Year to me. Took the scarf I bought back to the store – it was too tight.

FEBRUARY – Bummer of a month. I got fired from my job at a pharmacy for failure to print labels on medicine bottles. Well – DUH!!!! – the bottles wouldn’t fit in the printer.

MARCH – Exciting month. Finished a jig saw puzzle in 6 months. The box said “2-4 years.”

APRIL – Scary month. Was trapped on an escalator for hours. The power went out.

MAY – Frustrating month. Tried to make Kool Aid from scratch. 8 cups of water just will not fit into those little packets.

JUNE – Adventurous month. Tried to water ski – gave up – couldn’t find a lake with a slope.

JULY – Defeated month. Lost breast stroke swimming competition – then found out the other swimmers cheated by using their arms.

AUGUST – Wet month. Got locked out of my car during a rain storm. Inside of car was ruined because top was down.

SEPTEMBER – Dumb month. Lost a TV quiz show. The capital of California is “C”, isn’t it?

OCTOBER – I hate M&M’s .. .they are so hard to peel.

NOVEMBER – Bad food month. Cooked turkey for 4 1/2 days. Was very dry – don’t know what went wrong – instructions said “1 hour per pound” and I weigh 108.

DECEMBER – Accident month. Cut finger bad – couldn’t call 911 – DUH!!!! – there is no “II” on the phone.

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