The Bible According To Kids

Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:The_Holy_Bible.jpgAdults understand the stories in the Bible one way, but it’s a whole different world when you listen to Bible stories according to how kids interpret them.

Here are just a few examples of how children, because of their limited vocabulary, and their limited experiences of life, respond to questions about stories from the Old Testament.


THE STORY OF ELIJAH:

The Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining the story of Elijah. the Prophet and the false prophets of Baal.

She explained how Elijah built the altar, put wood upon it, cut the steer in pieces, and laid it upon the altar.

Then, Elijah commanded the people of God to fill four barrels of water, and pour it over the altar.

He had them do this four times.

“Now,” said the teacher, “can anyone in the class tell me why the Lord would have Elijah pour water over the steer on the altar?”

A little girl in the back of the room started waving her hand, “I know! I know!” she said, “To make the gravy!”


LOT’S WIFE:

The Sunday school teacher was describing how Lot’s wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt.

Little Jason interrupted her, “My Mummy looked back once, while she was driving”, he announced triumphantly, “and she turned into a telephone pole!”


DID NOAH FISH?:

A Sunday school teacher asked, “Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?”

“No,” replied Johnny. “How could he, with just two worms.”


HIGHER POWER:

A Sunday school teacher said to her children, “We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a higher power. Can anybody tell me what it is?”

One child blurted out, “Aces!”


MOSES AND THE RED SEA:

Nine-year-old Joey, was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday school.

“Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then, he radioed headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved.”

“Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?” his mother asked.

“Well, no, Mom. But, if I told it the way the teacher did, you’d never believe it!”


Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:The_Holy_Bible.jpg

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