The Laughline
Thousands Of The Best Funny Jokes To Make You Laugh

The Bacon Tree

Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bacon#/media/File:Schweinebauch-1.jpg

Are you ready for a bad joke? A really bad joke even?

Ok, so there were three French Foreign Legionnaires who were walking through the desert under the baking hot sun.

They were fully equipped with enough water for days and they had plenty of food in their packs, but that didn’t stop the heat from getting to them.

On the shimmering horizon, as so often happens on really hot days in the dessert, mirages came and went and came again.

They saw visions of swimming pools attended by dusky maidens, stalls full of ice-cream, sorbets, freshly-whipped smoothies of every conceivable flavour, all kinds of things that they might be desperate to enjoy, anything to escape from the scorching heat of the desert sun.

But to no avail, the legionnaires did not crack, but kept marching solidly on, hour after hour.

Suddenly one of them froze, “Psssst” he said, pointing to something in the distance.

His companions halted and strained their eyes to where the first legionnaire was pointing.

“Le voila”, he said, “Regardez, mes amis, isn’t that a bacon tree on the horizon?”

Sure enough, as the legionnaires stared into the distance, there it stood, proudly and defiant in the middle of the desert, a true bacon tree.

Slowly they crept forward towards the mystery object afar off.

Inch by inch, centimetre by centimetre they crept forward, until they were within a stone’s throw of the bacon tree.

Even nearer they crept, until suddenly, a shot rang out, dropping one of the legionnaires dead in his tracks.

The two other legionnaires returned fire and gave first aid to their wounded companion.

Even as they bandaged him and poured water over his face, they could hear his faint voice.

One of the legionnaires who was tending to him, leaned closed to hear what his wounded companion was saying.

“That was no bacon tree”, the wounded legionnaire gasped, “that was a ham bush”.

Ok, yes that was a bad joke, but I hope you are at least groaning or laughing. You now need to inflict this joke on some friends by sharing this post. I’m sure you know a few people who could use a good groan. If you can share this, thank you very much.


Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bacon#/media/File:Schweinebauch-1.jpg

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