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Teenagers Have A Lot In Common With Cats

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Believe it or not, it may surprise you to know that teenagers have a lot in common with cats. Seriously, it’s true, I kid you not. It’s also true that neither teenagers or cats care about your furniture and are oblivious to how much anything costs.

For all of you parents who have teenage children or whose children were once teenagers, you may want to know what they really have in common with cats:

  1. Neither teenagers nor cats turn their heads when you call them by name. Now we know that to be a fact!
  2. No matter what you do for a teenager or a cat, it is never enough. Indeed, all humane efforts are barely adequate to compensate for the privilege of waiting on them hand and foot.
  3. You rarely see a cat walking outside of the house with an adult human being, and it can be safely said that no teenager in his or her right mind wants to be seen in public with his or her parents.
  4. Even if you tell jokes as well as Jay Leno, neither your cat nor your teenage child will ever crack a smile.
  5. No cat or teenager shares ever your taste in music.
  6. Cats and teenagers can lie on the living-room couch for hours on end without moving, barely breathing.
  7. Cats have nine lives. Teenagers carry on as if they did.
  8. Cats and teenagers yawn in exactly the same manner, communicating that ultimate human ecstasy — a sense of complete and utter boredom.
  9. Cats and teenagers do not improve anyone’s furniture. Neither of them seem to care about the state of it either.
  10. Cats that are free to roam outside sometimes have been known to return in the middle of the night to deposit a dead animal in your bedroom. Teenagers are not above that sort of behavior either.

So, if you must raise teenagers, the best source of advice is not to consult other parents, but consult a veterinarian instead. It is also a good idea to keep a guidebook about cats on hand at all times.

And remember, above all else, put out the food and do not make any sudden moves in their direction. When they do make up their minds, they will finally come to you for some affection and comfort, and it will be a triumphant moment for all concerned.

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