Murphy came home drunk as a skunk, only to find his angry wife standing at the front door waiting for him. When I say she was angry, she was livid, seething, furious and whatever other nasty mean ugly words to describe her mood that you might come up with. It […]
The Best Funny Wife Jokes
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A young cowboy and cowgirl got married and after the wedding they left for their honeymoon which was to be in a small town out west. While they were driving down the road in his pickup truck, the new bride saw two cows having sex. She turned and asked her […]
A wife came home one night very late, after an evening out, drinking and dining with some of her friends. She got our of her taxi and quietly approached the house, then opened the front door, took her coat off and kicked of her shoes. As quietly as she could, […]
Bob was out in his back garden, trying to fly a kite. He threw the kite up into the air, to see the wind catch it for just a few seconds, before it came crashing back down to the ground. Bob tried this a number of times, but no matter […]
Isn’t it wonderful how husbands and wives can both complement and insult each other at the same time, especially as they get older and have been married to each other for a number of years. It’s a wonder how marriages don’t end up as a blood bath the way some […]
Do you know the difference between a woman being pregnant or expecting? Here is a short funny story that might enlighten you somewhat. “How does your wife like being pregnant?” Richie asked his friend Mike. “Oh, my wife isn’t pregnant” Mike replied, “she’s expecting”. “Expecting but not pregnant? I don’t […]
A woman walked into the kitchen of their house to find her husband standing in the kitchen holding a fly swatter. He was standing still, the fly swatter held up as if ready to strike. “What on earth are you doing?” his wife asked him. “I’m hunting flies” her husband […]
A woman went on a television game show and was trying to win the jackpot prize which was one hundred thousand dollars. She kept getting question after question right and the prize money kept building up. Finally, she got to the last question and the host said, “Okay, now for […]
Harry’s wife really loved singing, so she decided to join the church choir. Very often she would practice her singing while she was in the kitchen preparing their dinner. Whenever his wife would start singing a song, Harry would head outside and sit on the porch. His wife, with hurt […]
Murphy’s wife purchased a new line of expensive cosmetics that she saw advertised on television and which guaranteed to make her look years younger. After spending a long time sitting in front of the mirror applying her “miracle” cosmetic products, she asked Murphy, “Darling, honestly, what age would you say […]
