Mary Lou went into a coffee shop and noticed there was a “peel and win” sticker on her coffee cup. Like any other blonde she can’t resist the chance to enter a competition and win a prize, so she peeled it off and then started jumping up and down and […]
The Best Funny Waitress Jokes
I had lunch at a restaurant called the International Diner the other day. I sat down at a table, the waitress came over and the conversation went something like this… Waitress: “Are you very Hungary?” Me: “Yes, Siam.” Waitress: “What would you like me to Serbia?” Me: “I’ll have a […]
A wrinkled up, grizzled looking old man was eating lunch in a truck stop, when three Hells Angels bikers walked in. Now these weren’t any kind of Hell’s Angels bikers. They were the meanest, ugliest looking Hell’s Angels bikers you could ever imagine. The first Hells Angels biker walked up […]
A very thrifty Scotsman (now that’s a rare sight), goes to a restaurant with his wife and young son for dinner. When they are seated, the Scotsman asks the waitress, “Do you have any special price deals?” The waitress replies, “Well tonight is Wednesday, so all kids eat free”. The […]
While he was eating in an expensive restaurant, a patron overhead the gentleman at the next table ask the waitress to pack the leftovers from their meal for their dog. It was then that the gentleman’s young son exclaimed loudly, “Whoopee! We’re gonna get us a dog!”
My friend asked his father-in-law, who was a crop duster, how his day had gone. “It was the worst day of my life”, replied the crop duster. “This morning I was up in my plane dusting a field, when I nicked a power line and damaged the wing of the […]
A man walked into a restaurant and saw a sign that read, “Order anything you want. We will give you $300 if we are unable to serve you any entrée that you order.” So, the man went into the restaurant, sat down, and told the waitress he wanted elephant liver […]
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour, and pulled himself slowly, and what looked like painfully even, up onto a stool at the counter. After taking a few minutes to allow him to catch his breath, the waitress went over to him and he ordered a […]
One Christmas Eve, an Englishman went to Alabama as he wanted to experience Christmas in the south. He was used to the usual white Christmases that you get in England (well if you live in the north of England you do, but that’s another story). What he really wanted to […]
A man and a woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress , taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, but the woman acted unconcerned.