Two elderly friends used to meet in the local park every day, where they would feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss the problems of the world, as you do. One day, Colin, one of the friends, didn’t show up in the park. Harry didn’t think much about it […]
The Best Funny Waitress Jokes
Mary Jayne went into her local coffee shop and noticed there was a “peel and win” sticker on her coffee cup. Like any other blonde she couldn’t resist the chance to enter a competition and win a prize, so she peeled the sticker off and then started jumping up and […]
I had lunch at a restaurant called the International Diner the other day. I sat down at a table and a few minutes later the waitress came over. The conversation went something like this… Waitress: “Are you very Hungary?” Me: “Yes, Siam.” Waitress: “What would you like me to Serbia?” […]
A wrinkled up, grizzled looking old man was eating his lunch at a truck stop, when three Hells Angels bikers walked in. Now these weren’t any kind of Hell’s Angels bikers. They were the meanest, ugliest looking Hell’s Angels bikers you could ever imagine. They were real contenders for the […]
A very thrifty Scotsman (now that’s a rare sight), went to a restaurant one evening with his wife and young son for dinner. When they had been seated, the Scotsman asked the waitress, “Do you have any special price deals?” The waitress replied, “Well sir, tonight as it’s Wednesday, all […]
You never quite know what might happen when you go out to eat. This was overheard in an expensive restaurant. While he was eating in an expensive restaurant, a patron overhead the gentleman at the next table ask the waitress to pack the leftovers from their meal for their dog. […]
My friend asked his father-in-law, who was a crop duster, how his day had gone. “It was the worst day of my life”, replied the crop duster. “This morning I was up in my plane dusting a field, when I nicked a power line and damaged the wing of the […]
A man went to a Chinese restaurant for dinner and was told by the maitre’d that there would be at least a twenty minute wait for a table, so he would have to wait in the bar until he could be seated. So, while he waited for a table, he […]
A man was feeling rather hungry one lunch time, so he went into a new restaurant that had opened up close to the office where he worked. While he was looking at the lunch menu, he saw a notice that read, “Order anything you want. We will give you $300 […]
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour, and pulled himself slowly, and what looked like painfully even, up onto a stool at the counter. After taking a few minutes to allow him to catch his breath, the waitress went over to him and he ordered a […]
One Christmas Eve, an Englishman went to Alabama as he wanted to experience Christmas in the south. He was used to the usual white Christmases that you get in England (well if you live in the north of England you do, but that’s another story). What he really wanted to […]
A man and a woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress , taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, but the woman acted unconcerned.