Two Jewish men were having a meal in a Indian restaurant in New York. Moishe thought for a minute, then turned to his friend Abraham and asked, !Hey Abe, do you think there are there any people of our faith who were born and raised in India?” Abraham replied, “I […]
The Best Funny Waiter Jokes
18 posts
A lot of funny things happen in restaurants and it’s no wonder there are a lot of Waiter Jokes and waitress jokes as a result.
This is our collection of waiter jokes, featuring some funny stories about waiters as well as some stories about funny waiters.
We hope you enjoy them and if you have any others that you think we ought to feature, please leave us a comment.
Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://www.needpix.com/photo/download/725415/waiter-beverages-bottles-alcohol-figures-drink-benefit-from-cute-figure
A gorgeous young woman was sitting at a table in a fine restaurant one night waiting for her date to arrive. She wanted to make sure that her make-up was perfect, but as she bent down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she accidentally farted quite […]
Murphy got a job as a waiter in a fancy Steakhouse in Dublin. He brought to a customer’s table with the steak he had ordered and it was a fine piece of steak as well. The customer was horrified to see that Murphy had his thumb over the meat. “Are […]
May I take your Christmas lunch order?” the waiter asked me, after our party of friends had sat down to eat in the restaurant. “Yes please”, I said to the waiter, “but before I order, I would like to know how do you prepare your turkeys?” After a short silence, […]
Whenever I hear a story about air conditioning in restaurants, it makes me think of my wife, who more often than not gets cold when we go to a restaurant. Years ago the kids used to be the same, so even on a hot day when we went out to […]
Murphy worked as a waiter at a restaurant and sometimes there were desserts left over at the end of the evening, which the staff were allowed to take home. One evening when there were some desserts left over, Murphy brought home two pieces of cheesecake, one for his wife and […]
Do you remember when eating out was a relaxing experience? Someone else cooked for you, someone else served you and cleaned up after you. All you had to do was chew your food, swallow it, pay the bill and then drive home. Sadly, this is no longer the case though. […]
For a special birthday treat, Liam had taken his fiancee Siobhan out for a fancy meal at a posh restaurant. The menu looked rather too expensive for Liam’s wallet, so while he perused the menu, he gradually whittled down Siobhan’s choice to either chicken and salad. Finally, they both decided […]
A couple decided to go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant. They studied the menu and ordered the “Chicken Surprise” which sounded like a rather interesting dish. About twenty minutes later, the waiter brought out their meal, which has been served in a cast iron pot with a lid. […]
An old gentlemen and his elderly wife were told that there would be a 45 minute wait for a table at a busy restaurant, because they had had turned up there without having made a reservation. “Young man”, the elderly lady said to the waiter, “we are both 90 years […]
Three Texas cowboys went out to dinner in a steak restaurant in town one evenng. Each of them was eager to impress the other cowboys, to prove just how tough he was, coming from Texas of course. The first cowboy ordered his steak “rare, as red as can be”. The […]
One day, Murphy and Paddy went to a restaurant for dinner and ordered two steaks. As soon as the waiter brought out their steaks, Murphy quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself and put it on his plate. Paddy wasn’t happy about that and said, “When are you going […]