The surgeon went to see his blonde patient on the day after she had her surgery and she rather hesitantly asked him how long it would be before she could resume her sex life. “Uh, Well I hadn’t really thought about that”m the stunned surgeon replied. “You are the first […]
The Best Funny Surgeon Jokes
23 posts
We have some of the best surgeon jokes here, surgeons being the demi-gods of the medical world and a great source of funny medical stories. These are the cream of surgeon jokes, the others didn’t make the cut (intentional pun).
We hope you enjoy these surgeon jokes and of course please do share our posts with your friends if you find them funny.
Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://pixabay.com/photos/doctor-surgeon-hospital-surgery-5707722/
I had this long time friend who always seemed to lean slightly to the left all the time. It used to bother me, just looking at him as he would always look like he was leaning, so I suggested he went to see a doctor and have his legs checked […]
A well respected surgeon was relaxing in his armchair one evening, not long after he had arrived home from a long day at work in the hospital. As he was watching the evening news on television, the phone rang. The doctor calmly answered the phone and heard the familiar voice […]
The veterinary surgeon had been busy all day. It was one of those days when he had to tend to one emergency after the another. If it wasn’t someone’s cat that had fleas, it was someone’s hamster that had a rash. It was mind numbing and he couldn’t wait to […]
Two patients limped into two different medical clinics, both suffering with the same complaint. Both had trouble walking and appeared to require a hip replacement. The FIRST patient was examined within the hour, was x-rayed the same day and was given a time booked for his surgery the following week. […]
These are some clever signs and slogans that people have come up with to advertise their profession. It seems these days that if you want your business to get noticed, you need to come up with a catchy slogan. It doesn’t matter if you have a physical office or a […]
A doctor, an engineer and a lawyer were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions represented. The doctor thought for a minute and then said to the others, “Do you remember when on the sixth day, God took a rib from Adam and fashioned Eve? […]
At a recent medical convention, doctors were asked their opinions regarding the bailout/rescue plan for the US economy that had been voted on by Congress. The following were their opinions: Allergists voted to scratch it Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling […]
Tyrone was a stupid and clumsy boy. None of his classmates at school liked him, because of his stupidity and clumsiness, especially his teacher, who was always yelling at him, “You’re driving me mad, Tyrone!” One day, Tyrone’s mom came to school to check on how he was doing. The […]
Have you ever thought you heard the voice of God talking to you? Well, one day a 70 year old woman was walking along the road when she heard a booming voice from above saying: “You will live to be 100!” She looked around in surprise, but couldn’t see anyone. […]
Murphy went to the doctor complaining that he had a sore hip and it was making it hard for him to walk. After the doctor gave him a complete examination, he told Murphy that he would need to have a complete hip replacement. When the surgery was scheduled and Murphy […]
A wealthy Arab sheik was admitted to the hospital for surgery. As the sheik had a rare type of blood, the hospital didn’t have any and none could be found locally, a call was sent out to try and find anyone who had a match to see if they would […]