An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly usher greeted her at the door and helped her to walk up the flight of steps. “Where would you like to sit?” he asked her politely. “The front row, please”, she answered. “You really don’t want to do that”, […]
The Best Funny Sermon Jokes
24 posts
Gladys Dunn recently moved into a retirement community in a small town out West. One beautiful sunny Sunday morning, she walked down the street to a church that was not far from her apartment. Gladys admired the large beautiful church building with it’s impressive stained glass windows as she stepped […]
Ah the things that young children say and the questions that they ask. You can’t help but laugh, but at the same time it makes you so proud to be a parent doesn’t it. Read on for a selection of questions that young children have asked. These are so sweet […]
There was an old priest from a church in County Cork in the south of Ireland who enjoyed a drink of liquor now and then, but his real passion was peach brandy. Now Feargus, who had been a member of his congregation for many years, would give the priest a […]
Years ago in Ireland, there was a very anti British Catholic priest, who would let it be known in no uncertain terms exactly how he felt about the Brtish and he would tell his congregation every Sunday from the pulpit. After a while, the priest became so notorious, that the […]
The subject of the preacher’s Sunday sermon was “Forgive Your Enemies”. After a lengthy presentation, he asked the congregation how many of them were willing to forgive their enemies. About half of the congregation held up their hands. Not satisfied with this response, the preacher harangued on for another twenty […]
During the Sunday Service in the church and right in the middle of his sermon, the visiting Minister suddenly stopped talking and called one of the ushers over to the pulpit. He pointed across to a man in the 4th row who had quite obviously nodded off, much to the […]
Three boys were in the school yard during break time and were bragging about their fathers. The first boy said, “My father scribbles a few words on a piece of paper. He calls it a poem and they give him $50 for it”. The second boy said, “Huh that’s nothing. […]
Ah the demon drink, the root of all evil, or so the church would have you believe. A Catholic priest in Ireland was giving one of his parishioners his usual sermon about the demon drink and the problems it causes. “Abstinence”, the priest said, “is a wonderful thing, Patrick”. “Sure […]
A vicar gave a really short sermon in just ten minutes one Sunday morning, which was about half the usual length that he spent talking when giving his sermons. He explained the reason why he gave a short sermon to the congregation, “I regret to inform you that my dog, […]
After church one Sunday morning, a family were walking home when the mother commented to her husband, “The choir was awful this morning”. The father commented back to her, “Yes it was, and the sermon was too long as well”. Their seven year old daughter added, “Well, you have to […]
Christmas was finally over and the Pastor’s wife dropped into an easy chair saying, “Thank goodness that’s over for another year! I am so tired.” Her husband looked over at her and said, “I had to conduct two special services last night, three today, and give a total of five […]