Paddy and Seamus were watching an old documentary about Jacques Cousteau, the famous scuba diver and conservationist. Seamus turned to Paddy and said, “You know Paddy, I always wondered why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?” Paddy replied, “You are a dumb fool at times Seamus. If […]
Jokes tagged as: Seamus Jokes
14 posts
Seamus ended up staggering home very late one evening, after yet another one of his all too frequent alcohol binges at the local pub with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He carefully took off his shoes in the hallway to avoid waking his wife, Mary. He tiptoed as quietly as he […]
It was the middle of a hot summer and the air conditioning had broken down at a Catholic Church in Ireland. So they hired Seamus O’Sullivan to crawl around in the air ducts and figure out what was wrong. As Seamus peeked down through one of the old vents in […]
A number of years ago the Dunne family lived in a small cottage up in the hills above Killarney in Ireland. There was Seamus and Isobel Dunne and their family of six boys. They lived a happy but isolated existence, being up in the hills which was fairly remote from […]
Two Irishmen, Murphy and Seamus were discussing life in general over drinks one night in a Dublin pub. The subject eventually got to old age, how long family members lived to, and what killed them off. “My grandfather lived to be 96,” says Murphy. “Ninety-six? That’s a fair old age. […]
A European tourist is has been travelling through Ireland, but he gets lost and decides to stop in an Irish village to ask for directions. He sees two old men who are sitting outside the village pub, enjoying a pint of Guinness. “Parlez-vous Francais, the tourist asks them. The old […]
Uncle Seamus who was a seafarer all his life, and a while before he passed away, he made his nephews Mick and Paddy promise to bury him at sea. Sure enough, the time came when Uncle Seamus passed away, and Mick and Paddy decided that they ought to fulfill the […]
A cop pulls up two Irish drunks, who have both obviously had a skinfull, judging by the way they are staggering along the road. The cop says to the first drunk, “What’s your name and address?” “I’m Paddy O’Day, of no fixed address.” The cop turns to the second drunk, […]
Mrs. Sullivan returned home to to Ireland from a vacation to France where she had taken a class in French Cooking. She tells her husband Seamus that she is going to prepare him a special meal for St. Valentine’s Day, and that he is to go down to Murphy’s Market […]
The priest of a small Irish church said to his congregation, “Anyone who has special needs who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front by the altar.” So Seamus got in line and when it was his turn, the priest said to him “Seamus, what do […]
