We have more than 80 of the best Seamus jokes here. If you love Seamus Jokes we sure have a lot of them. Seamus is your stereotypical Irishman, who like his friends Paddy, Michael and Murphy is more often than not drunk, as thick as two short planks, a staunch Catholic and a believer in God and miracles.
Seamus bought his wife a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, his friend Murphy asked how she was doing with it. “Oh the piano”, Seamus replied, “I persuaded her to switch to a clarinet”. “A clarinet! How come?” Murphy asked. “It’s all on account of my health”, Seamus […]
The Best Funny Seamus Jokes
27 posts
We have more than 80 of the best Seamus jokes here. If you love Seamus Jokes we sure have a lot of them. Seamus is your stereotypical Irishman, who like his friends Paddy, Michael and Murphy is more often than not drunk, as thick as two short planks, a staunch Catholic and a believer in God and miracles.
You can find more classic funny Irish jokes in our Murphy Jokes and Patrick Jokes collections.
Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://pxhere.com/en/photo/882305
Two Irishmen were waiting at the bus stop when a truck went past them, loaded up with rolls of turf. Seamus turned and said, “You know what Murphy, I’m gonna do that when I win the lottery”. “What do you mean Seamus?” Murphy asked. Seamus replied, “I’m going to send […]
Two Irishmen from Galway were looking at a mail order catalogue and admiring the pictures of the models. I think that’s something that all men have done, well usually in their teens, but this is a small town in Galway where the woman are usually more reserved and men, well […]
Seamus the blacksmith from a small village in Galway, went to see the doctor with a badly damaged foot. The injury looked really painful and Seamus’s foot had a large black and purple bruise on it. The doctor was surprised, for Seamus was a careful man. I guess you would […]
The owner of some commercial properties in Dublin had three shops available for rent. The three shops were all in a row on the same street. He placed an advertisement in the local paper and the very next day, prospective clients who wanted to rent the properties turned up to […]
Seamus and Patrick are walking through the woods when they came across this big deep hole in the ground. Now this didn’t look like any ordinary hole in the ground. It was really big and it also looked like it was really really deep as well. “Wow that hole looks […]
Patrick and Seamus, two Irish friends, were talking over a drink when Seamus asked, “Have ye seen Murphy lately, Patrick?” Patrick said, “Well, I have and I haven’t”. Seamus looked rather puzzled and asked, “Shure, and what d’ye mean by that?” Patrick said, “It’s like this, you see. I saw […]
Seamus went to Sunday Mass one day and the priest almost fainted when he saw him, because Seamus had never been seen in church in all of his adult life. After the Sunday Mass had ended, the priest approached Seamus and said, “Seamus, I am so pleased you decided to […]
A police officer walked up to two Irish drunks in Galway and said to the first, “What’s your name and address young man?” “I’m Paddy O’Toole, of no fixed address”, the drunk replied. The police officer then turned to the second drunk and asked the same question. “I’m Seamus O’Hare […]
Three old Irish friends, Murphy, Paddy and Seamus, were sitting having a few beers in a bar and somehow the topic turned to dying. After a while they ended up discussing the words they would like to hear spoken over their coffins at their wakes. Seamus said, “I would like […]