Seamus was walking along a Belfast street one night when suddenly he was confronted with a masked man who had a gun pointed right at him. The gunman asked him, “Are you Protestant or Catholic?” Well as you can imagine, poor Seamus was scared out of his wits, but he […]
The Best Funny Seamus Jokes
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We have more than 30 of the best Seamus jokes here. If you love Seamus Jokes we sure have a lot of them. Seamus is your stereotypical Irishman, who like his friends Paddy, Michael and Murphy is more often than not drunk, as thick as two short planks, a staunch Catholic and a believer in God and miracles.
You can find more classic funny Irish jokes in our Murphy Jokes and Patrick Jokes collections.
Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://pxhere.com/en/photo/882305
Patrick, Murphy and Seamus staggered out of a pub in Dublin and flagged down a passing taxi. The taxi driver stopped and seeing that they were so inebriated when they got in and problably didn’t have a clue about what has happening, he decided to play a trick on them. […]
Michael and Seamus were out walking in town and went into a bakery, where Michael snuck three cookies into his pocket with lightning speed. Fortunately for Michael, the baker didn’t notice what he did. He turned to Seamus and said, “Did you see that? Clever right? I bet you can’t […]
Paddy and Seamus were having a few pints of Guinness in their local pub and discussing their sexual conquests with local women. Paddy bragged to Seamus, “You know Seamus, I think I have had me every woman in this town, except of course me mother and me sister”. “Well Paddy,” […]
Liam was taking a stroll down by the harbour one day when he saw his friend Seamus walking by the sea wall with a nice looking dog. Liam went over to Seamus and asked, “does your dog bite?” Seamus replied, “no he never bites”. So Liam bent down to stroke […]
Paddy and Seamus decided to go for a motorcycle ride one sunny but frosty day in early Spring. They had been driving through the countryside for a while when Paddy, who was sitting behind Seamus, called out to him. “Seamus … Seamus … the wind is so cold it’s cutt’n […]
Seamus asked his friend Murphy, “At your ripe old age Murphy, which would you prefer to get, Parkinson’s or Alzheimer’s?” Murphy thought about this for a minute, then replied, “Bejesus Seamus, I reckon definitely Parkinson’s!” “Why’s that Murphy?” Seamus asked. Murphy replied, “Well Seamus me old mate, I figure it’s […]
Murphy went on a two month business trip that was to take him all over Europe, so he left his cat for safe keeping with his brother, Seamus. Three days before he returned, Murphy called his brother to check how things were doing back home. The first thing that Murphy […]
The O’Connell twins had bought a secondhand Mercedes car and were taking their friend Paddy for a spin in their new car. As they sped down the street, Paddy called out from the back seat, “I say, boys, what’s that thing sticking up on the bonnet of the car?” Seamus […]
Seamus bought his wife a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, his friend Murphy asked how she was doing with it. “Oh the piano”, Seamus replied, “I persuaded her to switch to a clarinet”. “A clarinet! How come?” Murphy asked. “It’s all on account of my health”, Seamus […]
Two Irishmen were waiting at the bus stop when a truck went past them, loaded up with rolls of turf. Seamus turned and said, “You know what Murphy, I’m gonna do that when I win the lottery”. “What do you mean Seamus?” Murphy asked. Seamus replied, “I’m going to send […]
Two Irishmen from Galway were looking at a mail order catalogue and admiring the pictures of the models. I think that’s something that all men have done, well usually in their teens, but this is a small town in Galway where the woman are usually more reserved and men, well […]