The Best Funny Seamus Jokes

37 posts

Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://pxhere.com/en/photo/882305We have more than 30 of the best Seamus jokes here. If you love Seamus Jokes we sure have a lot of them. Seamus is your stereotypical Irishman, who like his friends Paddy, Michael and Murphy is more often than not drunk, as thick as two short planks, a staunch Catholic and a believer in God and miracles.

You can find more classic funny Irish jokes in our Murphy Jokes and Patrick Jokes collections.


Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://pxhere.com/en/photo/882305

Masked Man. Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://pixabay.com/photos/mask-man-face-person-human-456348/

Masked Man

Seamus was walking along a Belfast street one night when suddenly he was confronted with a masked man who had a gun pointed right at him. The gunman asked him, […]

Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Long_Voyage_Home

Patrick Murphy And Seamus

Patrick, Murphy and Seamus staggered out of a pub in Dublin and flagged down a passing taxi. The taxi driver stopped and seeing that they were so inebriated when they […]

Cookies. Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://pixabay.com/photos/cookies-biscuit-bake-bakery-6682786/

Three Cookies

Michael and Seamus were out walking in town and went into a bakery, where Michael snuck three cookies into his pocket with lightning speed. Fortunately for Michael, the baker didn’t […]

Women Drinking At A Bar Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://pixabay.com/photos/bar-alcohol-girls-women-bartender-4663764/

Sexual Conquests

Paddy and Seamus were having a few pints of Guinness in their local pub and discussing their sexual conquests with local women. Paddy bragged to Seamus, “You know Seamus, I […]

Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://pixabay.com/photos/walk-dog-seaside-hunstanton-1385880/

Nice Looking Dog

Liam was taking a stroll down by the harbour one day when he saw his friend Seamus walking by the sea wall with a nice looking dog. Liam went over […]

Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://www.flickr.com/photos/94039982@N00/6967971548

Paddy And Seamus

Paddy and Seamus decided to go for a motorcycle ride one sunny but frosty day in early Spring. They had been driving through the countryside for a while when Paddy, […]

Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://pxhere.com/en/photo/1102612

Parkinson’s Or Alzheimer’s

Seamus asked his friend Murphy, “At your ripe old age Murphy, which would you prefer to get, Parkinson’s or Alzheimer’s?” Murphy thought about this for a minute, then replied, “Bejesus […]

Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://www.flickr.com/photos/calliope/33441705594

Murphy’s Cat

Murphy went on a two month business trip that was to take him all over Europe, so he left his cat for safe keeping with his brother, Seamus. Three days […]

Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://pxhere.com/en/photo/2098

Secondhand Mercedes

The O’Connell twins had bought a secondhand Mercedes car and were taking their friend Paddy for a spin in their new car. As they sped down the street, Paddy called […]

Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://www.piqsels.com/en/public-domain-photo-jityu

A Piano For Her Birthday

Seamus bought his wife a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, his friend Murphy asked how she was doing with it. “Oh the piano”, Seamus replied, “I persuaded […]

Image Source: Social Media

Rolls Of Turf

Two Irishmen were waiting at the bus stop when a truck went past them, loaded up with rolls of turf. Seamus turned and said, “You know what Murphy, I’m gonna […]

Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://www.flickr.com/photos/whatindienights/8171547084/

Mail Order Catalogue

Two Irishmen from Galway were looking at a mail order catalogue and admiring the pictures of the models. I think that’s something that all men have done, well usually in […]