Harold came home one night from a long day at work, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep, deep slumber. The next thing he knew, he was standing before the Pearly Gates, where Saint Peter said to him, “Welcome Harold, you died in your sleep”. […]
The Best Funny Saint Peter Jokes
25 posts
One day, Saint Peter was on duty at the Pearly Gates, monitoring the new arrivals in Heaven, when three people arrived. The first person walks up to the Pearly Gates and Saint Peter asks them, “What did you die of?” The man replies, “I died of the big ‘C’”. Saint […]
A famous lawyer, who had been a public defender for years, suddenly dies. He finds himself standing at the back of an enormous queue, which he realises if outside the Pearly Gates of Heaven. The queue before him is enormous, it just seems to go on and on. The number […]
A priest and a bus driver both died and arrived at the Heaven at the same time. They get to the pearly gates where St. Peter greets them. He motions to the priest, and they both hop in a jeep and go out the back door, where the priest sees […]
A refined lady dies and goes to heaven. She is chatting with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, when all of a sudden she hears the most awful, blood curdling screams. “Don’t worry about that”, says St. Peter, “It’s only someone having the holes put into her shoulder blades for […]
A plumber turns up at the Pearly Gates one day and asks to be let in. “What job did you used to do then?”, asks Saint Peter. The plumber replies, “I was a heating and ventilation engineer.” St Peter replies, “Always the same, typical plumber, can’t tell the truth. Right […]
Three fairly dumb looking men just died and are waiting outside the Pearly Gates of Heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple question. St. Peter asks the first man, “WHAT IS EASTER?” The man replies, “Oh, that’s easy, it’s the […]
Three blondes died, and they all found themselves at the pearly gates of Heaven, standing before St.Peter. He told them that before they could enter the Kingdom of Heaven, they would have to demonstrate that they were Christians. To do this, he would require each of them to explain to […]
One day, while walking down the street, Susan, who was a highly successful woman executive, was tragically hit by a bus and killed. Her soul arrived up in Heaven, where she was met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter himself. “Greetings Susan, welcome to Heaven,” said Saint Peter. “Before […]
An engineer dies, goes up to heaven and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, “Ah, I see that you are an engineer. I’m sorry, but you have come to the wrong place.” So, the engineer heads downstairs, lots of them, mile after mile, hundreds […]
