Welcome to our collection of Saint Peter jokes. I sometimes feel sorry for Saint Peter. He is just trying to do his job up there in Heaven, making sure only those who deserve it are allowed to enter through the Pearly Gates, but all the time we make jokes about him.
A cowboy strolled up to the Pearly Gates of Heaven and appeared before St. Peter. Finding this a rather unusual sight, St. Peter asked him, “Have you ever done anything of particular merit, that would make you worthy of entering the Kingdom of Heaven?” “Well”, the cowboy replied, “I can […]
The Best Funny Saint Peter Jokes
29 posts
Welcome to our collection of Saint Peter jokes. I sometimes feel sorry for Saint Peter. He is just trying to do his job up there in Heaven, making sure only those who deserve it are allowed to enter through the Pearly Gates, but all the time we make jokes about him.
If your job is gate keeper at the Pearly Gates of Heaven, chances are that you feature in a lot of really funny religious jokes. Saint Peter just happens to be in that situation, but hopefully he has a good sense of humour and will forgive us for all the laughs that we try to generate at his expense.
Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://www.flickr.com/photos/lluisribes/15924727688
One morning, St. Peter was on greeter duty at the Pearly Gates, when he heard a commotion from down the long and winding road that leads to the entrance to Heaven. He looked up and saw a large group of at least a thousand people converging on the Pearly Gates. […]
It’s Christmas Eve in Heaven, where three men who died on Christmas Eve have just arrived and they are met by Saint Peter. “In honour of the season”, Saint Peter says to them, “Before I let you pass through the Pearly Gates, you must each show me something that represents […]
Harold came home one night from a long day at work, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep, deep slumber. The next thing he knew, he was standing before the Pearly Gates, where Saint Peter said to him, “Welcome Harold, you died in your sleep”. […]
One day, Saint Peter was on duty at the Pearly Gates, monitoring the new arrivals in Heaven, when three people arrived. The first person walked up to the Pearly Gates and Saint Peter asked them, “What did you die of?” The man replied, “I died of the big ‘C’”. Saint […]
A famous lawyer, who had been a public defender for years, suddenly dies. He finds himself standing at the back of an enormous queue, which he realises if outside the Pearly Gates of Heaven. The queue before him is enormous, it just seems to go on and on. The number […]
A priest and a bus driver both died and arrived at the Heaven at the same time. They get to the pearly gates where St. Peter greets them. He motions to the priest, and they both hop in a jeep and go out the back door, where the priest sees […]
A refined lady dies and goes to heaven. She is chatting with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, when all of a sudden she hears the most awful, blood curdling screams. “Don’t worry about that”, says St. Peter, “It’s only someone having the holes put into her shoulder blades for […]
A plumber turns up at the Pearly Gates one day and asks to be let in. “What job did you used to do then?”, asks Saint Peter. The plumber replies, “I was a heating and ventilation engineer.” St Peter replies, “Always the same, typical plumber, can’t tell the truth. Right […]
Three fairly dumb looking men just died and are waiting outside the Pearly Gates of Heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple question. St. Peter asks the first man, “WHAT IS EASTER?” The man replies, “Oh, that’s easy, it’s the […]