Welcome to our collection of Saint Peter jokes. Saint Peter or St. Peter? We are just going to go with Saint Peter if that’s ok with you.
It’s Christmas Eve in Heaven, where three men who died on Christmas Eve have just arrived and they are met by Saint Peter. “In honour of the season”, Saint Peter says to them, “Before I let you pass through the Pearly Gates, you must each show me something that represents […]
The Best Funny Saint Peter Jokes
29 posts
Welcome to our collection of Saint Peter jokes. Saint Peter or St. Peter? We are just going to go with Saint Peter if that’s ok with you.
You know I sometimes feel sorry for Saint Peter. He is just trying to do his job up there in Heaven, making sure only those who deserve it are allowed to enter through the Pearly Gates, but all we ever do is make jokes about him.
If your job is gate keeper at the Pearly Gates of Heaven, just like Saint Peter, chances are that you feature in a lot of really funny religious jokes. Saint Peter just happens to be in that situation, but hopefully he has a good sense of humour and will forgive us for all the laughs that we try to generate at his expense.
Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://www.flickr.com/photos/lluisribes/15924727688
Harold came home one night from a long day at work, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep, deep slumber. The next thing he knew, he was standing before the Pearly Gates, where Saint Peter said to him, “Welcome Harold, you died in your sleep”. […]
One day, Saint Peter was on duty at the Pearly Gates, monitoring the new arrivals in Heaven, when three people arrived. The first person walked up to the Pearly Gates and Saint Peter asked them, “What did you die of?” The man replied, “I died of the big ‘C'”. Saint […]
A famous lawyer, who had been a public defender for years, suddenly dies. He finds himself standing at the back of an enormous queue, which he realises if outside the Pearly Gates of Heaven. The queue before him is enormous, it just seems to go on and on. The number […]
A priest and a bus driver both died and arrived at the Heaven at the same time. They get to the pearly gates where St. Peter greets them. He motions to the priest, and they both hop in a jeep and go out the back door, where the priest sees […]
A refined lady dies and goes to heaven. She is chatting with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, when all of a sudden she hears the most awful, blood curdling screams. “Don’t worry about that”, says St. Peter, “It’s only someone having the holes put into her shoulder blades for […]
A plumber turns up at the Pearly Gates one day and asks to be let in. “What job did you used to do then?”, asks Saint Peter. The plumber replies, “I was a heating and ventilation engineer.” St Peter replies, “Always the same, typical plumber, can’t tell the truth. Right […]
Three fairly dumb looking men just died and are waiting outside the Pearly Gates of Heaven to see if they will be allowed in. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple question. St. Peter asks the first man, “WHAT IS EASTER?” […]
Three blondes died, and they all found themselves at the pearly gates of Heaven, standing before St.Peter. He told them that before they could enter the Kingdom of Heaven, they would have to demonstrate that they were Christians. To do this, he would require each of them to explain to […]
One day, three nuns died and before long they were standing outside the pearly gates of heaven waiting to get in. Saint Peter approached them, and asked the first nun, “Do you know who the first man was on Earth?” The first nun said, “Ummm, that’s a difficult question, would […]
One day, while walking down the street, Susan, who was a highly successful woman executive, was tragically hit by a bus and killed. Her soul arrived up in Heaven, where she was met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter himself. “Greetings Susan, welcome to Heaven,” said Saint Peter. “Before […]
An engineer dies, goes up to heaven and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, “Ah, I see that you are an engineer. I’m sorry, but you have come to the wrong place.” So, the engineer heads downstairs, lots of them, mile after mile, hundreds […]