The Best Funny Saint Peter Jokes

32 posts

Saint Peter Jokes. Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://www.flickr.com/photos/lluisribes/15924727688Welcome to our Saint Peter jokes collection. Do you write it as Saint Peter or St. Peter? We are just going to go with Saint Peter if that’s ok with you.

You know I sometimes feel sorry for poor old Saint Peter. He is just trying to do his job up there in Heaven, making sure only those who deserve it are allowed to enter through the Pearly Gates, but all we ever do is make jokes about him.

If your job was gate keeper at the Pearly Gates of Heaven, just like Saint Peter, chances are that you would also feature in a lot of really funny religious jokes. Saint Peter just happens to be in that situation, but hopefully he has a good sense of humour and will forgive us for all the laughs that we try to generate at his expense.


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Car Accident. Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://pixabay.com/photos/accident-car-rescue-4860938/

Horrific Car Accident

An elderly couple who had been married for more than sixty years, died as the result of a horrific car crash. Their passing was really tragic, since despite their advanced […]

Clocks Steampunk Gothic Door. Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://pixabay.com/illustrations/steampunk-door-gears-clock-pipes-3222894/

A Man Died And Went To Heaven

A man died and went to Heaven. Yes I know, it’s another one of those jokes, but such is life. People keep thinking them up, the same way as they […]

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Three Italian Nuns

Three Italian nuns died and went to heaven. Sure enough, St. Peter was there to greet them at the Pearly Gates. He said to the Italian nuns, “Sisters, you all […]

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Two Guys Wearing Hoodies

One fine day in Heaven, St. Peter was sitting by the Pearly Gates when two guys wearing hoodies arrived. St. Peter wasn’t quite sure what to do with these men […]

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Old Sister Margaret

Old Sister Margaret had been an impeccable nun all her life, obeying all the rules of the convent and devoting herself to “The Lord“, but one day, as will happen […]

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Perfect For A Round Of Golf

Father O’Donnell woke up Sunday morning to find that the weather was absolutely perfect for a round of golf and he desperately relished the thought of just being out there […]

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Four Women

Four Women arrived at the pearly gates of Heaven, where they found St. Peter waiting for them. When they went to go in, St. Peter said to them: “Those of […]

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The Dead Senator

With the Presidential election coming up very soon, here’s a good joke about a dead Senator that you will hopefully enjoy. A U.S. Senator was walking down the street one […]

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Third In Line At The Pearly Gates

A young man died and as so often happens in stories like this, he went to Heaven, where he found he was the third in line at the Pearly Gates. […]

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New Arrivals At The Gates Of Heaven

It was a really busy day “upstairs” and there were a lot of new arrivals at the gates of Heaven where a crowd had developed waiting to see if they […]

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Successful Young Lawyer

A successful young lawyer was on his way to the courthouse, to begin arguments on a complex lawsuit, when he suddenly found himself at the gates of Heaven. He had […]

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A Blonde A Redhead And A Brunette

Three girls, a blonde, a redhead and a brunette, all died within minutes of each other and ended up together at the pearly gates of Heaven. When they went to […]