Jack reached retirement age, so he went to see his doctor and asked him, “How can I live to be a hundred years old?” The doctor replied, “Well, I would […]
The Best Funny Retirement Jokes
15 posts
If retirement jokes are what you are looking for then you just found a great collection of them. Retirement is something we all look forward to, but you hear some funny stories about retirement, as well as some really funny retirement jokes.
Here are some of the best retirement jokes, some probably true or based on true stories, but others quite possibly made up by a genius with a warped sense of humour.
We hope you get a good laugh out of our retirement jokes collection and please share our posts to spread the laughter. Thank you.
Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://pixabay.com/photos/old-elderly-beach-walk-relax-3608950/
This is a story about retirement in South Florida. I don’t know who wrote the original version of this and suspect it’s been embellished over the years. I have done […]
A wise old man retired and moved to a modest home that was near to a junior high school, seeking some peace and quiet in his older years. He spent […]
The US Air Force found they had too many officers and NCOs and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus […]
When his health began to fail after he retired, Bill’s doctor recommended that he moved to somewhere healthier to live. So, after some research about places that were hot and […]
A new retirement community opened in town and after the first batch of elderly people had moved in, the community manager summoned them all to a meeting in the lounge. […]
I had waited for many years to quit work and was enjoying the second week of my retirement, much the same way as I had enjoyed the first week actually, […]
Retirement is a strange thing you know. Lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I now realise that at my age, I don’t really give a damn anymore. Honestly, […]
An old geezer became very bored in retirement and decided to open his own medical clinic. He rented a small office and put up a sign up outside that said: […]
Four retired men were walking down the street when they saw a sign that said, “Old Timers Bar – All drinks 10 cents“. They looked at each other in disbelief […]
If I get the chance to be reincarnated, I want to live my next life backwards. I suppose this might sound strange, but would you like to know why? You […]
An old man and old woman met shortly after both became residents at a retirement home. They soon began to get pretty friendly, and really enjoyed each others company. After […]