May I take your Christmas lunch order?” the waiter asked me, after our party had sat down to eat in the restaurant. “Yes please”, I said to the waiter, “but first I would like to know how do you prepare your turkeys?” After a short silence, the waiter replied, “Nothing […]
The Best Funny Restaurant Jokes
27 posts
Whenever I hear a story about air conditioning in restaurants, it makes me think of my wife, who more often than not gets cold when we go to a restaurant. Years ago the kids used to be the same, so even on a hot day when we went out to […]
Patrick applied for a job as the head chef at a very fancy restaurant. “Come to the kitchen and show us what you can do”, the manager said to him. “Give me an egg”, said Patrick, “any size, any colour”. The manager reached over and gave Patrick an egg. As […]
Murphy worked as a waiter at a restaurant and sometimes there were desserts left over at the end of the evening, which the staff were allowed to take home. One evening when there were some desserts left over, Murphy brought home two pieces of cheesecake, one for his wife and […]
Do you remember when eating out was a relaxing experience? Someone else cooked for you, someone else served you and cleaned up after you. All you had to do was chew your food, swallow it, pay the bill and then drive home. Sadly, this is no longer the case though. […]
For a birthday treat, Liam had taken his fiancee Siobhan out for a fancy meal at a posh restaurant. The menu looked rather too expensive for Liam’s wallet, so while he perused the menu, he gradually whittled down Siobhan’s choice to either chicken and salad. Finally, they both decided to […]
A couple decide to go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant. They study the menu and order the “Chicken Surprise” which sounds like a rather interesting dish. About 20 minutes later, the waiter brings their meal, which has been served in a cast iron pot with a lid. Just […]
An elderly gentlemen and his wife were told that there would be a 45 minute wait for a table at a busy restaurant, because they had had turned up without a reservation. “Young man”, the elderly lady said to the waiter, “we are both 90 years old, we may not […]
I had lunch at a restaurant called the International Diner the other day. I sat down at a table, the waitress came over and the conversation went something like this… Waitress: “Are you very Hungary?” Me: “Yes, Siam.” Waitress: “What would you like me to Serbia?” Me: “I’ll have a […]
A very thrifty Scotsman (now that’s a rare sight), goes to a restaurant with his wife and young son for dinner. When they are seated, the Scotsman asks the waitress, “Do you have any special price deals?” The waitress replies, “Well tonight is Wednesday, so all kids eat free”. The […]
