Welcome to our great collection of funny restaurant jokes and stories about eating out in a restaurant.
This is a joke about a hand job and yes it’s a little bit rude, so if that’s not for you, just skip it and move along. We thought it was pretty funny and most of our readers like a dirty joke, so hopefully we aren’t offending anyone and we […]
The Best Funny Restaurant Jokes
34 posts
Welcome to our great collection of funny restaurant jokes and stories about eating out in a restaurant.
Whether it’s something odd about a restaurant, the people in it or the food, there is a joke to be found somewhere, and we have been scooping up as many good restaurant jokes as we can find for you to enjoy.
Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://pixabay.com/photos/restaurant-people-eating-690975/
A gorgeous young woman was sitting at a table in a fine restaurant one night waiting for her date to arrive. She wanted to make sure that her make-up was perfect, but as she bent down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she accidentally farted quite […]
Have you ever been on a blind date? They can either go well or go badly. Here’s a short story about a blind date that didn’t go well. After being with his blind date all evening, the man couldn’t take another minute with her. They just weren’t hitting it off […]
On his first date with a beautiful woman, David decided that he was going to impress her somehow with his knowledge of wine. Since their date was in a fine restaurant, his choice naturally, David told the wine steward to bring a bottle of 1985 Sterling Chabernet Sauvignon from the […]
May I take your Christmas lunch order?” the waiter asked me, after our party of friends had sat down to eat in the restaurant. “Yes please”, I said to the waiter, “but before I order, I would like to know how do you prepare your turkeys?” After a short silence, […]
Whenever I hear a story about air conditioning in restaurants, it makes me think of my wife, who more often than not gets cold when we go to a restaurant. Years ago the kids used to be the same, so even on a hot day when we went out to […]
Patrick applied for a job as the head chef at a very fancy restaurant. “Come to the kitchen and show us what you can do”, the manager said to him. “Give me an egg”, said Patrick, “any size, any colour”. The manager reached over and gave Patrick an egg. As […]
Murphy worked as a waiter at a restaurant and sometimes there were desserts left over at the end of the evening, which the staff were allowed to take home. One evening when there were some desserts left over, Murphy brought home two pieces of cheesecake, one for his wife and […]
Do you remember when eating out was a relaxing experience? Someone else cooked for you, someone else served you and cleaned up after you. All you had to do was chew your food, swallow it, pay the bill and then drive home. Sadly, this is no longer the case though. […]
For a special birthday treat, Liam had taken his fiancee Siobhan out for a fancy meal at a posh restaurant. The menu looked rather too expensive for Liam’s wallet, so while he perused the menu, he gradually whittled down Siobhan’s choice to either chicken and salad. Finally, they both decided […]
A couple decided to go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant. They studied the menu and ordered the “Chicken Surprise” which sounded like a rather interesting dish. About twenty minutes later, the waiter brought out their meal, which has been served in a cast iron pot with a lid. […]
An old gentlemen and his elderly wife were told that there would be a 45 minute wait for a table at a busy restaurant, because they had had turned up there without having made a reservation. “Young man”, the elderly lady said to the waiter, “we are both 90 years […]