A man was drinking at the bar in a local pub, and as you often do after a few beers, he found himself a new drinking partner. “I was married three times” explained the man to his new acquaintance, “and I will never marry again”. His new friend appeared interested, […]
The Best Funny Pub Jokes
27 posts
It was a quiet day in an English pub, and a few local lads felt like starting a bit of trouble. Well just then Paddy, who was an Irishman who had moved to the area a couple of years ago, had the misfortune to walk in and order a pint […]
Have you heard the story about the drunk in the bathroom? A drunk middle-aged man, who had knocked back a few beers in the pub that evening, got up from the bar and staggered off to the bathroom. A few minutes later, a loud, blood curdling scream was heard from […]
“Oh my God, bejesus! What on earth happened to you?” the bartender asked Kelly, as he hobbled into his local pub on a crutch, with one arm in a cast. “I got in a tiff with O’Riley,” Kelly sheepishly responded. “O’Riley? He’s just a wee fellow,” the barkeep said, surprised. […]
A man who is obviously as drunk as a skunk, walks into the front door of a bar. He staggers up to the bar, somehow manages to seat himself on a stool, and with a belch, asks the bartender for a drink of whisky. The bartender politely informs the man […]
A shy, innocent young man, who happened to be as drunk as a skunk at the time, walked up to a beautiful young woman in a pub and said, “Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?” “Yes I do, as a matter of fact” replied the beautiful […]
The woman was getting worried about her missing husband. He usually came home right after work, but her husband was not home at his usual hour and his wife was both fuming and worried as the clock ticked later and later. She was by this time a little worried, and […]
Men always like to brag about their marriages and just how much control they have over their wives. There were three married men talking in the pub, and the topic of their banter eventually turned to that of married life. Two of them were talking about the amount of control […]
A collection of great Irish Jokes wouldn’t be complete without an Irish Pub Joke would it, so here is a classic one for you. A man who has obviously had a few beers already, staggered up to the only other person in an Irish Pub and asked if he could […]
Mrs. Sullivan returned home to to Ireland from a vacation to France where she had taken a French Cooking class. She tells her husband Seamus that she is going to prepare him a special meal for St. Valentine’s Day, and that he is to go down to Murphy’s Market and […]
Michael was meeting a friend at the pub and as he walked, in he noticed that two pretty girls were looking at him. “Nine”, he heard one whisper as he walked past them. Feeling pleased with himself, Michael swaggered over to his friend and told him that a girl had […]
Maggie Murphy was complaining about her husband, Paddy, spending all his time at the pub, so one night he took her along. “What’ll ya have?” he asked. “Oh, I don’t know. The same as you I suppose,” she replied. So Paddy ordered a couple of Jameson’s and threw his down […]