Little Johnny had a swearing problem, he was always using bad language and his father was getting tired of it. So he decided to ask his psychiatrist what to do about it. The psychiatrist advised as follows, “Since Christmas is coming up, you should ask Johnny what he wants Santa […]
The Best Funny psychiatrist
7 posts
A psychiatrist visited a mental hospital in California and asked a patient who didn’t seem to apparently have anything wrong with him, “How did you get here? What was the nature of your illness?” He got the following reply from the patient: Well, it all started when I got married […]
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young Mothers and their small children. Having observed them for a while and read through his notes about them, he said to the group of young Mothers, “Having watched all of you for a while, I can tell you that […]
A psychiatrist was interviewing a new patient who had been recommended to see him. “You say that you are here” the psychiatrist inquired, “because your family is worried about your taste in socks?” “Yes that’s correct”, the patient muttered. “I like wool socks”. “But that’s perfectly normal”, replied the psychiatrist. […]
Have you heard the story about a man who went to see a psychiatrist and recounted a horrible nightmare that he had been having. “My mother-in-law was chasing me with a blood thirsty crocodile on a leash. It was terrifying”, the man told the psychiatrist. The man continued to relate […]
It was a typical day at the asylum and the duty psychiatrist was doing his rounds of the wards with a couple of medical students. They looked in on one patient and the pychiatrist said to his students, “Sometimes this fellow thinks he’s a temptress in a Bizet opera, but today, […]
This is a joke about building castles in the air, which means “To create dreams, hopes, or plans that are impossible, unrealistic, or have very little chance of succeeding”. So, what’s the difference between a neurotic, a psychotic and a psychiatrist? A neurotic is the person who builds a castle […]