An older priest was talking to his young assistant about his revolutionary ideas for trying to get more people to come to church on Sunday. The elderly priest said to the younger priest: “You know, I was rather dubious about your idea to replace the first four pews with plush […]
Jokes tagged as: priest
19 posts
Miss O’Leary, a lovely little old Irish spinster from Cork, recently returned to the small village where she had lived most of her long life. While she had been away, the old priest who used to serve at the Catholic church in the village had retired, and been replaced by […]
One day, Father Murphy was out playing golf with one of his parishioners. On the first hole, when he hit the ball, he sliced it into the rough. His opponent heard him mutter “Hoover!” under his breath. On the second hole, Father Murphy’s ball went straight into a water hazard. […]
Miss O’Leary, who played the church organ, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was a little old lady who was much admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. One fine Spring afternoon, the parish priest came to call on her, and she welcomed him into […]
At an Italian wedding ceremony in a large Catholic church, the priest asked the congregation if anyone had anything to say concerning the union of the bride and groom. It was their time to stand up and talk, or forever hold their peace. The moment of utter silence was broken […]
A Catholic priest was walking along the road during Lent, when he couldn’t believe what he saw. The smell of grilled meat wafted through his nostrils, and looking into the window of the house that he was passing, he spied a parishioner who was enjoying some tasty bratwurts sausage. Not […]
There were these two priests who rode their bicycles to church every Sunday. Well, one day one of the priests showed up to work without his bicycle. The other priest asked where his bicycle was. The first priest said, “I don’t know, but I think it got stolen!” The other […]
An very wealthy old man was on his deathbed. He wanted badly to take all his money with him, so just before he died, he called his priest, his doctor and his lawyer to his bedside. The old man said to them, “Here is $30,000 cash to be held by […]
An Irishman goes to confession in St. Patrick’s Catholic Church. “Father”, he says to the priest, “it has been one month since my last confession. I had sex with Fanny Green twice last month.” The priest tells the sinner, “You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary’s.” Soon […]
An Irish priest and a Rabbi are both driving down the road and get into a car accident. They both get out of their cars, and stumble over to the side of the road. The Rabbi says, “Oy vey! What a wreck!” The priest asks him, “Are you all right, […]