A Catholic priest was walking along the road during Lent, when he couldn’t believe what he saw. The smell of grilled meat wafted through his nostrils, and looking into the window of the house that he was passing, he spied a parishioner who was enjoying some tasty bratwurts sausage. Not […]
Jokes tagged as: priest
14 posts
There were these two priests who rode their bicycles to church every Sunday. Well, one day one of the priests showed up to work without his bicycle. The other priest asked where his bicycle was. The first priest said, “I don’t know, but I think it got stolen!” The other […]
An very wealthy old man was on his deathbed. He wanted badly to take all his money with him, so just before he died, he called his priest, his doctor and his lawyer to his bedside. The old man said to them, “Here is $30,000 cash to be held by […]
An Irishman goes to confession in St. Patrick’s Catholic Church. “Father”, he says to the priest, “it has been one month since my last confession. I had sex with Fanny Green twice last month.” The priest tells the sinner, “You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary’s.” Soon […]
An Irish priest and a Rabbi are both driving down the road and get into a car accident. They both get out of their cars, and stumble over to the side of the road. The Rabbi says, “Oy vey! What a wreck!” The priest asks him, “Are you all right, […]
An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest’s breath, and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says to the priest, “Father, have you been drinking?” “Just water,” […]
The new Priest at a local Catholic church is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks an older priest to sit in on his sessions. The new priest hears a couple of confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions. The […]
Some years ago, it was a requirement in the Catholic Church for women to wear a head covering in order to enter the sanctuary. One Sunday a lady arrived at a country without her head covering. Noticing this, the priest informs her that she cannot enter the sanctuary without it. A […]
A drunk who smelled strongly of alcohol, sat down on a subway next to a priest. The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After […]
Before performing a baptism in Ireland, the local priest, Father Reilly approached Seamus and said to him solemnly, “Baptism is a serious step. Are ye prepared for it?” “I think I am father,” Seamus replied. “My wife has made a big buffet spread and Mrs O’Sullivan has baked biscuits and […]