A teenage girl, complete with fake tan, eyelashes and eyebrows, went to church, knelt in the confessional box and said, “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned”. “What is it, my child?” the priest answered. The teenage girl said, “Father, I have committed the sin of vanity. Twice a day […]
The Best Funny Priest Jokes
45 posts
Father O’Donnell woke up Sunday morning to find that the weather was absolutely perfect for a round of golf. He mulled this over in his head for some time, since it was Sunday and he was due to deliver the Mass. But the weather was just perfect for playing golf […]
There was an old priest from a church in Cork in the south of Ireland who enjoyed a drink of liquor now and then, but his real passion was peach brandy. Feargus, who had been a member of his congregation for many years, would give the priest a bottle of […]
A Catholic couple had been married for five years and were desperate to have children, but no matter how often they tried, how many different positions they tried and no matter how many books they read on fertility, the wife still failed to get pregnant. So, they went to their […]
One Sunday, a Priest was giving a special children’s Mass to the congregation. During the homily, he asked the children if they knew what the Resurrection was. Now, asking questions during children’s Mass is crucial, but as you probably already know, asking children questions in front of a congregation can […]
Seamus went to Sunday Mass one day and the priest almost fainted when he saw him, because Seamus had never been seen in church in all of his adult life. After the Sunday Mass had ended, the priest approached Seamus and said, “Seamus, I am so pleased you decided to […]
Father O’Reilly had been preaching at his church in Ireland for so long, that he decided to take a vacation. He was curious as to what everyday life was like in the USA, so he decided that now was a good time to visit and see for himself, before he […]
Murphy was getting more than a little peeved with the frequent visits they were getting from his wife’s two nephews, who were both Jesuit priests. She was in the habit of wining and dining them royally and on one occasion she forced Murphy to kill the two finest chickens in […]
An old priest had come to visit a sick parishioner who lived in a lonely farmhouse in the west of Ireland. He arrived on a freezing cold, horribly wet day and was greeted by the farmer and his two sons. “Come in Father”, the farmer said. “My wife is through […]
Ah the demon drink, the root of all evil, or so the church would have you believe. A Catholic priest in Ireland was giving one of his parishioners his usual sermon about the demon drink and the problems it causes. “Abstinence”, the priest said, “is a wonderful thing, Patrick”. “Sure […]
