A Catholic priest in Ireland was giving one of his parishioners his usual sermon about the demon drink and the problems it causes. “Abstinence”, the priest said, “is a wonderful thing, Patrick”. “Sure and I know it is Father”, said Patrick, “If it’s practiced in moderation”.
Jokes tagged as: Priest Jokes
34 posts
A priest was given a new post at a church in Alaska. After a couple of years, the bishop went to visit him to see how his posting was working out. “How are you doing up here?” the Bishop asked the priest. “It’s really cold,” the priest answered. “If it […]
A priest was walking along the corridor of the pre-school wing, when a group of little ones trotted by on their way to the cafeteria. One little lad of about three or four, stopped and looked at the priest in his clerical clothes and asked, “Why do you dress funny?” […]
One morning a man walked into the church on crutches. He stopped in front of the holy water, splashed some on each leg, and then threw away his crutches. An altar boy witnessed the scene and then ran into the rectory to tell the priest what he’d just seen. “Father, […]
Murphy goes into the confessional box one Sunday and has the surprise of his life. One wall of the confessional is a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest Cuban cigars. Then the priest, Father McCarthy comes in. “Father, […]
A priest says to his friend, who is a rabbi, that he has found an excellent way to eat for free in really good restaurants. Well, naturally the rabbi is interested, so the priest explains how his plan works. “I simply go into the restaurant at well past 9 in […]
A woman parishioner goes to see her priest after the service one Sunday and says, “Father, I have a problem that I hope you can help me with”. The priest beckons to her to continue. The woman says, “I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say […]
A young priest got up in the morning and went to breakfast. On his way there, he passed two nuns and he said to them, “Good morning sisters”. The two nuns looked at him in a strange way and replied in a sing song manner, “You got up on the […]
A religious man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is allowed, or if it is deemed to be a sin. The answer, he feels, hinges on whether sex is considered work or play. He is determined to find out, and decides to ask a priest for his opinion on […]
Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome. One has a cross in front of him, the other has the Star of David. It’s a busy street with many people passing by, who stop to look at both beggars, but only put money into the hat […]
