An very wealthy old man was on his deathbed. He wanted badly to take all his money with him, so just before he died, he called his priest, his doctor and his lawyer to his bedside. The old man said to them, “Here is $30,000 cash to be held by […]
Jokes tagged as: priest
11 posts
An Irishman goes to confession in St. Patrick’s Catholic Church. “Father”, he says to the priest, “it has been one month since my last confession. I had sex with Fanny Green twice last month.” The priest tells the sinner, “You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary’s.” Soon […]
An Irish priest and a Rabbi are both driving down the road and get into a car accident. They both get out of their cars, and stumble over to the side of the road. The Rabbi says, “Oy vey! What a wreck!” The priest asks him, “Are you all right, […]
An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest’s breath, and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says to the priest, “Father, have you been drinking?” “Just water,” […]
The new Priest at a local Catholic church is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks an older priest to sit in on his sessions. The new priest hears a couple of confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions. The […]
Some years ago, it was a requirement in the Catholic Church for women to wear a head covering in order to enter the sanctuary. One Sunday a lady arrived at a country without her head covering. Noticing this, the priest informs her that she cannot enter the sanctuary without it. A […]
A drunk who smelled of beer sat down on a subway next to a priest. The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a […]
At the town’s annual picnic in July, the local Rabbi and Catholic Priest, rivals who always sought to out do each other at every opportunity, got to talking about the customs that their respective religions imposed on them.
Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, “Do you want to go to heaven?” The man said, “I do father.” The priest said, “Then stand over there against the wall.” Then the priest asked the second man, “Do you want to […]
This is a short story to just show that preaching isn’t really all that hard. A Catholic priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and […]