One Sunday, a Priest was giving a special children’s Mass to the congregation. During the homily, he asked the children if they knew what the Resurrection was. Now, asking questions during children’s Mass is crucial, but as you probably already know, asking children questions in front of a congregation can […]
Jokes tagged as: Priest Jokes
39 posts
Seamus went to Sunday Mass one day and the priest almost fainted when he saw him, because Seamus had never been seen in church in all of his adult life. After the Sunday Mass had ended, the priest approached Seamus and said, “Seamus, I am so pleased you decided to […]
Father O’Reilly had been preaching at his church in Ireland for so long, that he decided to take a vacation. He was curious as to what everyday life was like in the USA, so he decided that now was a good time to visit and see for himself, before he […]
Murphy was getting more than a little peeved with the frequent visits they were getting from his wife’s two nephews, who were both Jesuit priests. She was in the habit of wining and dining them royally and on one occasion she forced Murphy to kill the two finest chickens in […]
An old priest had come to visit a sick parishioner who lived in a lonely farmhouse in the west of Ireland. He arrived on a freezing cold, horribly wet day and was greeted by the farmer and his two sons. “Come in Father”, the farmer said. “My wife is through […]
A Catholic priest in Ireland was giving one of his parishioners his usual sermon about the demon drink and the problems it causes. “Abstinence”, the priest said, “is a wonderful thing, Patrick”. “Sure and I know it is Father”, said Patrick, “If it’s practiced in moderation”.
A priest was given a new post at a church in Alaska. After a couple of years, the bishop went to visit him to see how his posting was working out. “How are you doing up here?” the Bishop asked the priest. “It’s really cold,” the priest answered. “If it […]
A priest was walking along the corridor of the pre-school wing of the school, dressed as usual in his clerical clothes, when a group of little ones trotted by on their way to the cafeteria. One little lad of about three or four, stopped and looked at the priest in […]
One morning a man walked into the church on crutches. He stopped in front of the holy water, splashed some on each leg, and then threw away his crutches. An altar boy witnessed the scene and then ran into the rectory to tell the priest what he’d just seen. “Father, […]
Murphy goes into the confessional box one Sunday and has the surprise of his life. One wall of the confessional is a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest Cuban cigars. Then the priest, Father McCarthy comes in. “Father, […]
