A police officer stopped a car which was being driven in a dangerous manner, it was swerving dangerously across the road. He walked up to the car, knocked on the window and the driver wound it down. “Good Morning Madam”, the police officer said to the blonde woman who was […]
The Best Funny Police Officer Jokes
43 posts
This is our collection of police officer jokes and we hope you enjoy them. Police officers do a great job, but they are also the subject of a lot of jokes.
So whether it’s a police constable, detective or sergeant, we have a police officer joke for them. If you enjoy them, please share with your friends.
Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://pixabay.com/photos/cop-policewoman-colleagues-fun-1016218/
Irish Policeman: “Did you get the license number of the motor car that ran you over, Mrs O’Halloran?” Mrs O’Halloran; “No officer, but I know who it was, it was my son-in-law!” Irish Policeman: “How can you be so certain Mrs O’Halloran?” Mrs O’Halloran: “Well officer, put it this way, […]
Murphy and Paddy were driving south from Dublin to Cork and they were both laughing and telling jokes as they were driving and were also drinking bottles of Guinness Stout. All of a sudden, Paddy saw lights flashing in his rear view mirror, it was the Garda, the Irish police […]
The stop light turned yellow right in front of him, so he did the right thing and stopped at the intersection, even though if he really had a mind to, he could have beaten the red light by accelerating and speeding through the intersection. The woman who was driving behind […]
Billy Bob was filling his pickup truck with gas at a rural gas station. He was in a bit of a hurry and unfortunately when he pulled the nozzle out of his car, some gas poured onto his rolled up shirt sleeve. The gas station attendant, seeing what had happened, […]
A bank manager was arrested last week for embezzling $100,000 to pay for his daughter’s university education. The police officer who was leading the bank manager away in handcuffs leaned over and said quietly to him, “I have just one question for you. I also have a daughter who is […]
Sure that’s a quote from Monopoly, “Go To Jail, Go Directly To Jail” and who among us doesn’t recognise that from the popular board game? I’m sure the people being responded to in the quotes below are about to go directly to jail, or maybe indirectly via the court house, […]
A traffic officer pulled a man over for speeding. He stopped his patrol car behind that of the man, got out of the car, walked up to the window and asked him to get out of the car. After looking the man over, the traffic officer said, “Sir, I couldn’t […]
Murphy was headed up to bed when his wife told him that he’d left the light on in the garden shed, she could clearly see the light was on from their bedroom window. So Murphy opened the back door to go and turn off the light in the garden shed, […]
The O’Connell twins had bought a secondhand Mercedes car and were taking their friend Paddy for a spin in their new car. As they sped down the street, Paddy called out from the back seat, “I say, boys, what’s that thing sticking up on the bonnet of the car?” Seamus […]
An Irish police officer was on patrol on the motorway outside Dublin when he pulled alongside a vehicle that was exceeding the speed limit. He glanced over at the speeding car and was astonished to see an old woman behind the wheel and she was knitting. The police officer lowered […]
“Didn¹t you suspect burglars had been in your house when you saw all the drawers had been pulled out and the contents scattered all over the floor?” the police officer asked the woman. “No”, she replied, “I just thought my husband had been looking for a clean shirt. Image used […]