The Best Funny Pet Jokes

15 posts

This is our collection of pet jokes, some humour about the many types of pets that people keep and the amazing or stupid things that they do.

We hope you enjoy our pet jokes and if you do, please share with your friends and also follow us on our Facebook Group.

Bartender Barman. Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://pixabay.com/illustrations/ai-generated-bartender-man-bar-8068699/

A Man Went Into A Pub

So a man went into a pub and he had a small salamander perched on his shouder. As the man walked up to the bar, the bartender took a good […]

Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://snappygoat.com/s/?q=bestof%3Adog+bowl+dog+water+drink+dogbar+animal+dog+food+bowl+eat+feeding+food#ed0eea3a2861bdf01e04b8da39b03c5548987e8a,1,553.

Drinking Bowl

A woman went to the pet store to purchase a drinking bowl for her dog. The girl at the counter asked her if she would you like to have the […]

Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://www.pexels.com/photo/cozy-elegant-fancy-home-interior-815540/

House Cleaner

Have you ever had a job as a house cleaner? When I was in my last year at high school, I got a part time job which was cleaning the […]

Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://www.pxfuel.com/en/free-photo-jwmgd

Pet Turtle

Little Johnny ran into the kitchen to his mother, he was crying and cradling his pet turtle in his hands. “Mommy, my turtle is dead”, Little Johnny told his mother […]

Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Blonde_Woman.jpg

The Blonde In The Pet Shop

Have you heard the one about the blonde in the pet shop? Keep reading and you will. Here you go… A blonde woman walked into the pet shop. After looking […]

Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://pixabay.com/photos/bird-canary-bird-eat-treehouse-3386319/

The Singing Canary

An elderly woman goes into an upscale pet shop in Brooklyn, walks up to the counter and says: “I want to buy a canary, but it’s got to be a […]

Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Rottweiler,_tired,_2014-12-31.jpg

What Goes On Inside Your Pet’s Head

Have you ever wondered what goes on inside your pet’s head? Sometimes we like to think that we know what our pets are thinking, and often with dogs we can […]

Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://www.pexels.com/photo/animal-agriculture-farm-chicken-4196/

Straight Up Into The Sky

Little Tommy came home from school one day and found his pet chicken dead. It was just laying there on the ground with it’s legs pointing straight up into the […]

Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Centipede_1.jpg

The Perfect Pet

So a man went into a pet shop and told the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything, in essence The Perfect Pet. The pet […]

Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://www.pxfuel.com/en/free-photo-jpgyi

A Man And His Duck

This is a sweet story about a man and his duck. The duck isn’t so much a pet, as the man’s best friend in the whold wide world. This man […]