Patrick applied for a job as the head chef at a very fancy restaurant. “Come to the kitchen and show us what you can do”, the manager said to him. “Give me an egg”, said Patrick, “any size, any colour”. The manager reached over and gave Patrick an egg. As […]
Jokes tagged as: Patrick Jokes
19 posts
Patrick and Seamus, two Irish friends, were talking over a drink when Seamus asked, “Have ye seen Murphy lately, Patrick?” Patrick said, “Well, I have and I haven’t”. Seamus looked rather puzzled and asked, “Shure, and what d’ye mean by that?” Patrick said, “It’s like this, you see. I saw […]
Patrick & Feargus were on board a small chartered airplane when the pilot suddenly had a heart attack and they needed to make an emergency landing. “Don’t Panic”, Patrick called out, heroically. “I’ll land this baby!” So, Patrick unfastened his seat belt, got up and moved to the co-pilot chair. […]
At the Dublin Court House last Wednesday, Mrs O’Hennessy was charged with shoplifting a tin of peaches from a local supermarket. The Judge asked the prosecuting solicitor, “How many peaches were in the tin?” The prosecuting solicitor replied, “Four peaches Your Honour”. The Judge said to Mrs O’Hennessy, “You will […]
Patrick was looking for a management position and went for a job interview with an executive for a position in his company. The executive wanted to learn something about Patrick’s personality, so he asked him, “If you could have a conversation with anyone, living or dead, who would it be?” […]
Murphy and Patrick went fishing one day down at the river where Murphy knew a good spot to fish. Murphy was an experienced fisherman, but Patrick wasn’t and after a while, Murphy noticed that Patrick was behaving really odd. Every time the Murphy caught a big fish, he put it […]
Murphy was hired to paint a green line down the middle of the streets in town to mark the St. Patrick’s Day parade route. On the first day, he got off to a good start and he painted the green line seven miles long. The next day, however, he painted […]
Murphy was a new employee at the office and he seemed to be working out ok, however after a few months he developed this habit of coming into work late every morning. Patrick, who was the office supervisor, couldn’t help but notice him coming through the office door late every […]
An Irish oil worker is on a job in the frozen north of Alaska. It’s forty below zero one winter night and Patrick is as usual drinking at his local saloon. The bartender says to him, “Patrick, you owe me quite a bit on your tab, it’s starting to build […]
Murphy and Paddy were sitting at a pub, drinking Guinness and watching the brothel across the street. They watched as a Baptist minister walked into the brothel. Murphy turned to Patrick and said, “Aye, ’tis a shame to see a man of the cloth goin’ bad.” A few minutes later, […]
