The Best Funny Patrick Jokes

29 posts

Patrick is a very common Irish name and having a great collection of Irish Jokes it’s natural we have a lot of Patrick Jokes.

Poor old Patrick is the subject of many of the best Irish jokes and we hope you enjoy this collection. Since Patrick is often known as “Paddy”, you can find even more Irish tales in our Paddy Jokes collection.

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Patrick Murphy And Seamus

Patrick, Murphy and Seamus staggered out of a pub in Dublin and flagged down a passing taxi. The taxi driver stopped and seeing that they were so inebriated when they […]

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Hands And Knees

As he was leaving the pub after having a few beers, Patrick spotted his friend Michael down on his hands and knees under the light looking for something on the […]

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Big Deep Hole

Seamus and Patrick were walking through the woods when they came across this big deep hole in the ground. Now this didn’t look like any ordinary hole in the ground. […]

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Two Black Eyes

Patrick came home from work one day with not one but two black eyes. “What in bejazus happened to you?” his wife asked him. “I will never understand women”, Patrick […]

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Hand Grenades

Murphy and Patrick found three hand grenades. They weren’t sure what to do with them, but decided it was best to take them to the police station. Patrick said, “Hang […]

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Head Chef

Patrick applied for a job as the head chef at a very fancy restaurant. “Come to the kitchen and show us what you can do”, the manager said to him. […]

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Irish Friends

Patrick and Seamus, two Irish friends, were talking over a drink when Seamus asked, “Have ye seen Murphy lately, Patrick?” Patrick said, “Well, I have and I haven’t”. Seamus looked […]

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Emergency Landing

Patrick & Feargus were on board a small chartered airplane when the pilot suddenly had a heart attack and they needed to make an emergency landing. “Don’t Panic”, Patrick called […]

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Shoplifting

At the Dublin Court House last Wednesday, Mrs O’Hennessy was charged with shoplifting a tin of peaches from a local supermarket. The Judge asked the prosecuting solicitor, “How many peaches […]

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Management Position

Patrick was looking for a management position and went for a job interview with an executive for a position in his company. The executive wanted to learn something about Patrick’s […]

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Murphy And Patrick Went Fishing

Murphy and Patrick went fishing one day down at the river, where Murphy knew a good spot to catch fish. Murphy was an experienced fisherman, but Patrick wasn’t and after […]

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The St. Patrick’s Day Green Line

Murphy was hired to paint a green line down the middle of the streets in town to mark the St. Patrick’s Day parade route. On the first day, he got […]