The surgeon went to see his blonde patient on the day after she had her surgery and she rather hesitantly asked him how long it would be before she could resume her sex life. “Uh, Well I hadn’t really thought about that”m the stunned surgeon replied. “You are the first […]
The Best Funny patient
9 posts
We know you love Doctor Doctor jokes, so here are a few to make you chuckle. If you know any more and would like to share them with us, please leave us a comment. Scroll down the page and you will find the comments form. Patient: Doctor, Doctor I keep […]
“Doctor, you told me I have a month to live and then you sent me a bill for $1,000! I can’t pay that before the end of the month!” the patient said. “Okay”, the doctor replied, “you have six months to live”. Image used under a Collective Commons License from […]
A psychiatrist visited a mental hospital in California and asked a patient who didn’t seem to apparently have anything wrong with him, “How did you get here? What was the nature of your illness?” He got the following reply from the patient: Well, it all started when I got married […]
Two patients limped into two different medical clinics, both suffering with the same complaint. Both had trouble walking and appeared to require a hip replacement. The FIRST patient was examined within the hour, was x-rayed the same day and was given a time booked for his surgery the following week. […]
We are all guilty of writing things without thinking, and Doctors are no more immune to this than anyone else. Here are some funny notes that Doctors have written on patients charts: Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year On the 2nd […]
A sweet old grandmother telephoned Mount Sinai Hospital. She timidly asked, “Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?” The operator said “I’ll be glad to help, my dear. What’s their name and room number?” The grandmother in her weak tremulous voice […]
Two doctors were in a hospital hallway one day complaining about Nurse Jenny. “She is incredibly dumb. She does everything absolutely backwards”, one doctor said. “Just last week”, the doctor added, “I told her to give a patient 2 milligrams of Percocet every 10 hours. She gave him 10 milligrams […]
A doctor went to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient had major hand surgery to both of his hands during a procedure that had taken a renowned surgeon hours to perform. “I’m so pleased to see you Doctor”, the man said excitedly and dramatically held up […]