There are a lot of church jokes and priest (pastor, vicar etc) jokes but you don’t often see many Parishioner Jokes do you.
The church was preparing for the Christmas season and the pastor decided he wanted a Christmas banner made for the church entrance. The pastor had a parishioner call a company that made banners. The parishioner told the man on the phone the message he wanted and the dimensions needed for […]
The Best Funny Parishioner Jokes
9 posts
There are a lot of church jokes and priest (pastor, vicar etc) jokes but you don’t often see many Parishioner Jokes do you.
So just to make up for this shortcoming in the humour department, we have a selection of parishioner jokes here for you to enjoy.
If you know of any more, please let us know, we are always looking for more jokes to add to our site.
Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://www.pxfuel.com/en/free-photo-obers
An old priest had come to visit a sick parishioner who lived in a lonely farmhouse in the west of Ireland. He arrived on a freezing cold, horribly wet day and was greeted by the farmer and his two sons. “Come in Father”, the farmer said. “My wife is through […]
Ah the demon drink, the root of all evil, or so the church would have you believe. A Catholic priest in Ireland was giving one of his parishioners his usual sermon about the demon drink and the problems it causes. “Abstinence”, the priest said, “is a wonderful thing, Patrick”. “Sure […]
A woman parishioner goes to see her priest after the service one Sunday and says, “Father, I have a problem that I hope you can help me with”. The priest beckons to her to continue. The woman says, “I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say […]
One day, Father Murphy was out playing golf with one of his parishioners. On the first hole, when he hit the ball, he sliced it into the rough. His opponent heard him mutter “Hoover!” under his breath. On the second hole, Father Murphy’s ball went straight into a water hazard. […]
A man was walking in front of me as I was coming out of church on Good Friday. The minister, who was standing at the door as always to shake hands with the parishioners, grabbed the man by the hand and pulled him aside. The minister, always keen to add […]
A Catholic priest was walking along the road during Lent, when he couldn’t believe what he saw. The smell of grilled meat wafted through his nostrils, and looking into the window of the house that he was passing, he spied a parishioner who was enjoying some tasty bratwurts sausage. Not […]
The new parish priest is nervous about hearing confessions. It’s his first posting to a church, so he asks an older priest if he can sit in on his first confessions and offer him some guidance. The new priest listens to several confessions from parishioners, then the old priest asks […]
A new pastor was out paying a parish visit to the homes of his parishioners, because the bishop had decided that more parish visits would be a good idea to help boost the congregation and of course to help with the church donations. At one house that the pastor visited, […]